𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅 𝐀 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, jeremiah fisher

eighteen. why did you choose him?

I bite my lip, and his eyes stray down to watch the motion before they look back into mine. I turn to face the ocean because I don't think I can look at him. This is it. I'm going to tell him what really happened that summer, and I have no idea how he's going to react. Fuck.

"I didn't want to stay with him," I say in almost a whisper.

I feel a warm hand on mine as he intertwines our fingers together. Without saying anything, it's enough for me to know he's encouraging me to continue.

"I...I did like him at first," I explain, taking shaky breaths. "But right before that summer, he started getting mad for every little thing I did, every little mistake I made. Whenever I talked about you, he would call you nasty names and then do the same to me. He forced me to bring him with me that summer."

I hear Jeremiah's intake of breath, his hand squeezing mine.

"I didn't mean for him to talk shit to you and just treat you like crap in general. I had no idea he was going to do that or push you off the sidewalk. The only reason I took his side was because he told me he'd do worse to you if I didn't cut you off." The memory causes tears to form in my eyes, and I quickly blink them away.

I hadn't wanted to bring Dean with me that summer, but he insisted he wanted to meet my best friend. When we got to Cousins, he was rude to Jeremiah and talked crap about him. At one point, he even pushed Jere into the way of oncoming traffic because he was mad. I knew it was wrong, but Dean gave me no choice. I really thought he'd hurt Jere.

"I know it was stupid, but I believed him. I thought he was going to do something to you, so I acted as if I'd rather be with him than you. When we got home after that summer, he started..." I trail off, but I know I don't need to continue when I hear Jeremiah's shaky breath and feel the way his hand tightens around mine.

After that summer, he started getting more physical. He never fully beat me up, but whenever he did something, it really hurt.

"Why did you stay with him?" Jeremiah asks quietly, a sad look on his face. He's still holding my hand but isn't looking at me anymore. He's staring out into the ocean.

I sigh. "He kept apologizing after doing something, and I really thought he was being genuine. It just took me a long time to figure out I stopped liking him before we even came down to Cousins that summer."

Jeremiah's head turns to me, and I look back at him. His pale blue eyes meet my almond brown ones. He stares at me with so many emotions that I have no idea what to make of the look on his face. The tenderness, the sadness, the guilt, the affection. His thumb rubs circles into the back of my hand.

He swallows and then bites down on his teeth so that his jaw is clenched.

"I knew he was a fucking dick," he spits out angrily. "And you never listened to me."

I blink at him. I can't believe I thought things were going to be different if I told him what really happened—what really caused us to fall out.

"Fuck, if you would have just broken up with him that summer when I told you he was going to take advantage of you—"

I can't do this right now.

I've been angry at myself about this for so long. I've been lecturing myself for two years. I don't need Jeremiah to say exactly what I'm trying to forgive myself for. I don't need him to lecture me too.

I pull my hand out from his grasp and get to my feet. I turn around and start walking away. I pass his car and continue down the road on my feet. I can't be alone with him in his car right now.

"Dani!" I hear him yell after me. I keep walking.

I hear the engine of the car start and then it slowly starts heading in my direction. The window rolls down as it moves at the same speed I'm walking.

"Dani." I don't look at him. "C'mon, don't be like this. Get in the car. I'm sorry. Just let me drive you home."

I don't stop even when I don't hear the engine anymore and hear a car door slamming shut. I feel a hand wrap around my upper arm and pull me back. My feet stop moving and he doesn't say anything as he grabs my hand and drops his car keys into it.

I look at him with my eyebrows tugged together in a confused expression.

"If you won't be in the car with me, then drive it yourself."

Without another word, he twirls around and starts heading back in the opposite direction.

My feet are frozen, and I'm in too much shock to call him back.

𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿'𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 !

two updates in a row!!

this is a pretty short chapter, but we're nearing the end of the angsty enemies part of the story and moving toward the forgiving part so yay! there's like one more chapter until we get to the final episode and oh boy what a chapter it is...

also can anyone guess why i named dani's ex dean.....?