Summer Sham

02 - Pancit

Bree

"Oh basta anak, hindi naman kita pinipigilan magboyfriend. Ang gusto ko lang, ipagpatuloy mo lang yung pagiging maayos mo sa pag-aaral. Tingnan mo, magcocollege ka na. Konti na lang talaga makakapagtapos ka na fully sa pag-aaral."

Wika ng Papa ko habang nagfafacetime kami. He is an OFW in Singapore. He's been working there since I was in elementary. Isa talaga to sa reason kung bakit gusto ko nang makapagtapos na ng pag-aaral and to earn enough money, para naman makauwi na si Papa rito.

"Pa naman. Wala pa sakin yang boyfriend-boyfriend na yan noh," aba parang kanina lang biglaan akong naging girlfriend kay Kuya Keith. Ano ba nakain ng Mama nun. "Focus muna ako sa college talaga."

"Naku pano naman magkakaboyfriend yang anak mo eh hindi nga yan lumalabas ng bahay. Di rin nakikihalubilo. Baka mauna pang magkajowa tong si Drew," sabat ni Mama habang tumatawa.

I saw Drew smirking at the corner. Batang to. Ten years old palang, baby ko pa to noh. Kahit pa lumaki na to at magka-asawa na, baby ko pa rin to.

"Oh siya sige, gabi na. Kumain na kayo ng dinner tapos magpapahinga na rin muna ako rito. Love you all. Take care." sabi ni Papa habang humihikab, then he ended the call.

I helped Mama in preparing the food. Ang sarap kaya ng pancit na luto niya, kaya sobrang good mood ko ngayon. Mamaya ko na muna isipin tong kurso ko sa college. I will first let my mind breathe.

Drew plans to attend a basketball summer camp facilitated by his school, tapos sabi ni Mama, ako raw maghahatid-sundo sa kaniya. Looks like may pagkakaabalahan naman pala akong ibang bagay this summer.

"Sino naman mga kasama mo sa camp?" tanong ni Mama habang nilalagyang ng pagkain ang plato niya.

Nag-isip muna si Drew ng ilang segundo then said, "Uhm si Troy, si Xian, si Carlo, and some of our friends pa po."

At bilang isang mabuting Ate, inasar ko siya. 

"Ano ba yang summer camp niyo, hindi naman kayo doon matutulog. Uuwi parin pala pagka-hapon. Only proves that you're still little kids, awe."

"Mama oh!" sumbong niya habang nginunguya ang pagkain. Ang cute talaga nitong magalit, sarap kurutin ng chubby cheeks!

"Ay tigilan mo na yang kapatid mo, Bree. Kapag umiyak yan, ikaw bahala magpatahan." saway naman ni Mama.

"I don't cry! Ten years old na nga ako!" though parang iiyak na siya sa tono niya.

Aasarin ko pa sana siya when I suddenly realized one thing about being this taga-sundo thing. "So Ma, does that mean papayagan mo akong e drive yung kotse?"

Yung bagong SUV kasi yung palaging gamit ni Mama kapag nagtratrabaho siya. Yung dati naman naming kotse, madalas standby nalang sa garahe. That's why when I finally got my driver's license, kinukulit ko na sina Mama at Papa na ako nalang gumamit nun.

"Malamang. 'Yan yung gusto mo diba? So now, your Papa and I decided to trust you with that responsibility. Okay naman din na 'yung driver's license mo. Basta ha, ingatan mo 'yan."

"Copy, boss!" nakangisi kong sagot.

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After dinner, pumunta muna si Mama sa balcony to finish some of her works. Presko kasi ang hangin doon kaya masarap talaga magtrabaho.

Ako naman, eto, kaharap ang pinggan. Actually hindi ko schedule ngayon kaso sabi ni Drew may kailangan daw siyang e prepare para sa summer camp nila. 

Hmmm. If I know, nagrarason lang 'yun para makatakas sa responsibilidad. Hay nako.

While washing the dishes, napaisip din ako sa career ng mga magulang ko. My mother works at a car dealership as a manager, pero 'yung course na natapos niya ay BS Chemistry. Quite far diba? Which is exactly why natatakot akong pumili ng course kasi what if it's not the right course for me? What if magbago 'yung career path ko? What if masayang lang 'yung efforts ko pati 'yung gastos ng mga magulang ko? Nakakapang-overthink siya.

I once asked my mother kung may regrets ba siya. Ang sabi niya, yes and no. Yes, kasi raw feeling niya nag-aksaya siya ng effort at pera ng mga magulang niya para pampaaral sa kaniya tapos sa ibang trabaho naman siya napapadpad. And no, kasi somehow, it all worked out after some time.

Did that answer help me? Sadly, no.

On the other hand, 'yung Papa ko, he's lucky. He's a Computer Science graduate and actually works in the same field as a computer systems analyst. To add, he works pa in a prestigious company in Singapore.

I did ask him if was he ever so sure about this career since then. Sabi niya hindi naman. In fact, hindi raw talaga niya alam anong kukunin dati sa college. So ang ginawa niya, sinunod nalang niya 'yung sabi ng Mama niya na kung alin ang may computer na course, 'yun daw piliin niya. At first, parang isumpa niya na raw 'yung kurso niya. Pero ngayon, he's very thankful at nakaahon naman siya.

Sa wakas at natapos din ako sa paghugas at sa pagmuni-muni. I silently went to my room upstairs since wala naman akong makakausap sa living room.

My room is just average-sized with one single bed, one study table, one wardrobe cabinet, and no bathroom. To be honest, I did regret once painting this mint green dati dahil lang nakigaya ako sa mga kaibigan ko kasi 'yun ang uso. Plano ko pa nga lagyan 'to ng animal print wallpaper dati, pero buti nalang hindi pumayag 'yung parents ko. That wouldv'e been another regret. Kaya last summer, I did the initiative to repaint this into seal gray. I did it all by myself kasi sabi ni Mama ako lang naman may gustong gawin 'to.

This room isn't my childhood room. This house isn't even my childhood house. Dati, noong ako palang mag-isa ang anak ng mga magulang ko, we just lived in a small apartment. Hindi naman sa naghihirap talaga kami dati pero my parents were still just starting to establish their careers.

When you ask me kung sino ang inspiration ko, I answer "my parents" not just simply because sila 'yung nagpalaki saakin at gusto kong bumawi sa kanila. I see my parents as my inspiration because of how I witnessed them from being dreamers to achievers. 

Now, they have built their own dream house. Now, they can send their kids to prestigious schools. Now, they can provide their family with whatever they want. All of what they have now were just mere dreams before. And as their daughter, nakaka-proud siya.

And as their daughter, nakaka-pressure din siya. Will I be able to live up like them?

There's too much doubt going on inside me. Too much uncertainty even. So, before going to bed, I just did what seems to be newly part of my daily and nightly routine: 

Browse for more college tips.

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Author's Note:

Just a short update for now. Merry Christmas btw!