Chapter Thirteen

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A/n sorry for the long-awaited update, Midterms are coming up and life is throwing all its curve balls at me- Ps, double dashes satisfy my ADHD, so bear with me XD 

Having dinner at the table wasn't unusual, but tonight it was different—James' chair remained empty, no stares, not gazes at me, it was just a peaceful evening. Clint was translating as needed—but with most of the team taking some sign language some conversations could be answered very simply. 

After the wonderful meal I stayed behind to wash some dishes. Many people protested (to the looks of their faces), but I had insisted. After moments of a calm debate over the dishes they seceded, letting me win the argument. I wouldn't have to argue if the dishwasher wasn't filled with the previous dishes from yesterday—which was Stark's fault may I add.  

Halfway through the pile of dishes I glanced at the water spewing from the falcate. 'What does water sound like?' I thought. Water is what I had seen every day, but I've never could hear the sound of it. The gushing river, as some would visually describe the running water—what about the sound?

Zoning out to the thought and the many plates I hadn't notice the tight grasp that was around my thin waist. It was already too late to react as the person had already turned me around to face them. 

Fear struck me as I'm face-to-face with the Winter Soldier. Memories comes in flashes, the anger on his face lingers in his eyes, his glare is too strong for me to resist the urge to look away. His flesh arm still around my waist. The anger filled eyes turned to soft, his face relaxed—no longer clinched, his armed let go of my thin figure. What shocked me was the words that he signed with his metal arm. 

"What you said that one day..." he lowered his hand for a moment. "I wanted to say thank-you, even if you don't or never will accept my apology," James told me, shock covering my face. "I do hope you will accept the apology, but I have learnt to respect the decision."  

"Thank-you," I replied, before watching James walk away from me. Shaking the conversation away from my head I go back to the previous task of washing the dishes I cringed when a piece of soggy food touched my hand. 

*

"Worthless" 

"Garbage" 

"Child" 

A guard behind Rumlow signed in between of Rumlow slapping my face. 

"Good for nothing"

I'm sure a groan was released from me. Rumlow finally stopped, I wanted to cry out of the relief of the pain subsiding.   

"You are nothing without us, we are family," Rumlow signed, his face tightened, his brown eyes filled with rage, his hands move fast, sharp. 

I was dragged on my back by the guards. Reaching the cell, I waited for the door to lock close before moving. The pain rushed through my body; this wasn't the first thing he did to me today. Rumlow wasn't like any other Agents I had meant in Hydra—he was bad of the bad, the cruelest of them all. 

Gasping awake as the covers falls off of my body, my heart was pumping too fast for my body to handle. My phone lit up. I picked it up to show a message from Jarvis (Stark set that system up) he was notifying me about my breathing and my heartrate. 

It seems your heartrate is too high; would you like me to call someone for you? (Reply yes or no)

no

I rushed to the bathroom. I turn on the facete to release ice cold water. I scoop the water up cleansing my face of all the emotions that was running through my brain. Despite the emotions in my head, they were running slower than they had before, it seemed as though my brain was processing in slow motion. 

After repeating the steps of washing my face with cold water I finally gave up and sat up against the bathroom door with my head in between my knees. Silent sob would be let out of my mouth, tears began to release, my heart still pounding, my hands trembles.   

My eyes began to drop, my hair fell in my face, my hands stopped trembling, the heart began to slow. I shake the tiredness from my energy, so I could go back to the bed without passing out. Which I luckily archived. I barely had time to snuggle in the now cold blankets before allowing myself to pass out. 

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