Unrequited Love | [Meteor Garden] Huaze Lei

Chapter 12

"It's fine"

I sat up again and stoop from the bed, "Xiang Li, was also an important woman to me. She was the only student who was bold enough to approach me like a normal person instead of someone who have high standards. She taught me how to draw, how to look at other perspective. I already saw... different side of her in the past."

"And I hate it when I was the cause of her heartbreak." I pointed out as I stood by the window and look outside as my hands were in my back. "I don't want, the history to repeat itself. it's still early to regret. That's why I'm speaking to you now." I explained as she keep looking at me. 

"Xiang Li... I really treasured her, but I don't know how to show it to her as long as she gave me a space to. I would trade the world for her"

I admitted as I smile sadly and look back at the girl who have glossy eyes on my confession. "This new side of me, that you're talking about. This is the person who is lost without her. That's why, I don't want to open up to you but, I hope you can understand."

"Open your eyes, I'm not the right one for you" I said, "I'm sorry" I added.

"Why are you saying sorry?... "

"If I didn't come back, you could have been with Si."

"You don't have to apologize to me. Who would want to be with him" she exclaimed.

"And... if this hadn't happened, I wouldn't have witnessed the new person you are now." she continued.

"New person, how am I different from before" I cut off her, she thought of things to say as I look out how beautiful the night was. "The old you,  was very lazy. The way you spoke was so cold. You seemed very distant. Like this"

"And yet I opened up to you"

"Because you can't say it to her"

"She... is being distant to me now. After the kissed, I barely get to talk to her. It seems, she put her walls up on me"

Shancai stood quiet knowing well the reason. "But the new you is really likeable Lei. The day you open up to her, she might understand you"

"But what if she is tired?" I halted her as the room stayed quiet because of that. "No matter how likeable my character is on the present, It wouldn't change the fact how much I hurt her"

"Lei, no matter what. She is willing to be a good friend to you forever. And that is same goes to me"

A friend... it that, how far me and Xiang Li can only reach? How can I fix everything when I don't know how to fix it. "Thank you, Shancai"

It didn't assured me yet it feels comforting. Because of this conversation made me start to think about everything that happen between me and Xiang Li.

Talking to someone made me at ease, but she encircled around my mind that night. I just look at Shancai who was sleeping. I'm really tired without realizing it.

Xiang Li was right before, How can I love someone who can't sacrifice that much, yet ignore the person that will trade the whole universe for me. How foolish.

Yet that time, we were also on the same boat.

That time, I knew, being friends with her was dangerous. But we improve a lot because of each other. I managed to learn things I haven't learn yet. She introduce her world to me, and I unknowingly did the same.

"This Art piece is created by me. Do you think this will manage to catch the eye of your friend, Lei?" My junior asked me as I observed the painting she did. It connected to nature and also connected to a person. I just let out a smile and nodded.