Chapter 10

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he leaned in and hugged you, holding you to his chest. you reciprocated the hug, body moving on its own while your heart began to frantically beat in your chest.

why am i hugging him back?

even though he's making a plan to take over lesser lord kusanali's place, you could see that despite spiraling and nearly going insane, he was savable. as you hugged him, you made a small prayer.

cyno. al haitham. please. save lesser lord kusanali, and lesser lord kusanali, forgive him.

"is this human?" he separated from you, still holding your sides. "feeling... the need for warmth."

"it is," you affirmed. "everyone feels it."

"it feels like," he began to tear up. "it's almost like i've been cold my whole life. but... i don't want to lose anyone else. i don't want to go through that again."

you hugged him again, "you haven't been cold your entire life. it's been lonely for sure, but think about it. once your ascension is complete, you won't be alone anymore. you have me and your people."

"stay immortal," he said to you. "you have to. i... i don't want to lose my friend."

"i'm your friend? wow," you said breathlessly. "who knew that after months of working together, you finally consider me your friend."

"don't get comfortable," he scoffed and let go. "we still have to finish my ascension. then... we can be as close as you'd want."

you slightly blushed, "alright, if that's what you'd want."

too bad your ascension is never going to happen.

after another day of working, the day has come. the traveler, you found out from al haitham, was involved in a lot of the plan. cyno had cornered azar in the sanctuary, and they were able to free lesser lord kusanali. you were still in the workshop, talking to scaramouche about the knowledge capsules when the dendro archon and traveler began to approach. when he felt their presence, he ordered you to leave.

"{name}, you have to go."

"i know," you said to him, giving him a chaste hug. "you'll be okay, right?"

"i'll win," he assured you. "after this, i want to tell you something."

"you do? huh, i wonder what it is," you thought aloud.

"it's important, so you'd better be cheering for me through and through."

"i will," you laughed. "i helped build this after all."

a small clang resounded at the door, the groans and screams of the fatui underlings resounding throughout the workshop. "{name}, go."

"alright."

you gave him a small smile, using the tri-clover to leave. for a minute, you thought you could see him mouth something to you, but there was no time to think about it. time to hope the traveler already located his weak points. not like there were many though.

on the way to the akademia, your mind was a tsunami of thoughts; over the past few months you've spent with scaramouche, it'd be a lie to say he hasn't grown on you. and yet, he was the person that would stand against your god in a battle for the position. it was conflicting, your heart wavering like the waves of an oceanic tide. you hummed a short song to yourself as you walked, trying to somehow still your heart.

"he's just a project," you tried to say to yourself. "he's... just a project..."

as the heart wavers, it almost weaves fake thoughts into your mind. maybe it was a mistake to help al haitham and cyno... no they're my friends of course i should help. maybe... i shouldn't have gotten so close to scaramouche.

you thought back to all the development and work that went into not only the god, but into your relationship with the balladeer. especially the night 2 days ago. after your conversation with him, and seeing him fall asleep on your lap after tears were shed, he wasn't the cold and arrogant harbinger that he always appeared to be. he is immature in the language and ways of the human world – who somehow thinks death is the same as a betrayal? – very similar to a broken toy. he believed that he was cold and ruthless and it showed through arrogance, but you could see right through him by reading his actions.

your thinking brought you to aaru village, walking around and seeing the sights of the desert. in a way, it brought you a lot of calm. sometimes seeing a village that wasn't as bustling or as chaotic as sumeru city made you feel a little more at ease and calm. not only that, you guessed you wanted to seek out al haitham considering this is where all the "mad scholars" were banished and abandoned.

you walked around, seeing al haitham sitting down and reading a book calmly, deciding to sit next to him. "al haitham."

he looked up, closing his book and smiled at you, "{name}."

"did the plan work? i'm assuming yes because i heard the traveler and lesser lord kusanali walking around outside the workshop."

"it worked perfectly," he said, placing a hand on yours reassuringly. "now to wait for the traveler. how have you been?"

"could be better," you said, slightly bitter. "it's just that i've learned a lot over the course of these few days. and right now, it's a lot to take in. i'm sure it'll all sort itself out though."

"you're capable of it," he said, then looked at your wrist, handkerchief still wrapped. "are you injured?"

you held up your hand, almost confused until you remembered. "ah this. i was working on the puppet and got injured. nothing big really."

al haitham lifted your hand gently, holding it up so he could take a look. then, he pressed a small kiss on the fabric; it was delicate, almost like he barely grazed it with his lips. it made you flinch then turn slightly red, the notion being very out-of-character for him.

"you know," he said softly. "you really need to take better care of yourself."

"i did," you said, trying to even out your voice. "i wrapped it and everything. it's just in the healing phase, so it doesn't hurt as much anymore."

he placed your hand on top of his thigh, holding it carefully so as not to cause you pain. "i'm relieved it's nothing serious, and not caused by some sort of fight. if so, they'd have a large issue with me."

you laughed, brushing the comment off, "haha, i guess. i'm just clumsy."

when you looked at him, you could see almost a hint of redness on his cheeks. "just be more cautious."

"stop being so careless."

scaramouche's words came into your mind, making you return into the same trance you were in when you were walking to aaru village.

"{name}? did i say something wrong?"

"it's nothing," you said, gently removing your hand from al haitham's touch. "i was just thinking. do you think they'll end up killing the balladeer?"

"i don't think lesser lord kusanali would think of that," he said. "but, if he does resist, then more advanced... measures might be used." you nodded, then al haitham spoke again. "why the glum look? you should be happy. after all, you wanted this, no?"

"we can be as close as you want"

"it just... al haitham, i know that this was wrong of the fatui to do so, but why does my heart feel so empty?"

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