The Boy Next Door Who Left...

Chapter 3

Weeks passed, and we hadn't met. That was something I was forcing myself to believe. In reality, we saw each other every day. At school, in the neighbourhood, in my dreams. My guilt lay heavy on the call I hadn't answered. I hoped someday we'd actually meet and talk about it. Hoped he'd understand the little versions of me I couldn't give him. I hoped he'd understand just how broken I was and see for himself how much he affected my life. Or maybe he would never understand... Maybe we were just a bomb waiting to explode when we met. My heart would ache at the thought of what a disaster I had caused.
He would sometimes arrive in my dreams. He would tell me to stay strong... That one day would come when all will be settled and that day is close.

So it did come, the day... I was riding my bike. I was just learning. He was there. He was standing by the guava tree. I did try to concentrate on the road and my ride but my eyes would drift away at the sight of him. By the time I was close to him... My lack of concentration almost made me fall off the bike. But alas! He caught me.
"Heyy!! You okay? Be careful while you ride... Where were you looking at... "
"At you" I replied.
"What?"
"I was looking at you"
I don't know why he was having trouble believing that but I could tell he was.
"Oh... Well, you've been ignoring me at all costs for the past two weeks."
I was shocked.
"I'm the one who has been ignoring you!!??!?? I thought you didn't wanna see me!"
I said and almost started crying...
To my surprise, He held me and put his arms around me... His fingers stroked my hair.

"I'm sorry I ruined your birthday party... I didn't mean to. My brain was really messed up from all the shit happening in my house." 
At that moment I realized how self-absorbed I'd been. I had completely forgotten about everything he was going through. The guilt in grew miles more.
"I understand... I'm sorry I couldn't be there by your side" I said and realized that it was the right moment...
"Ummm... Ryan, is your offer still there?"
"Of course it's still there!!
Why? Did you change your mind?"
"I didn't really think that day...I was scared it might ruin the friendship... You know after we call it quits. I mean how was I supposed to know that you were gonna erupt like a volcano..."
"You actually are right, relationships do destroy friendships and you were also right that day. We are too young..."
He stopped but I saw it in his face that he wanted to say more.
"And? "
"Not and. But."
"Okay? But?"
"But, I get the feeling we're meant to be more..."
"Oh" I left a breath out.
"So?" He looked at me with hopeful eyes. I couldn't say no to those eyes... I know I couldn't . I knew what I was about to do was partly wrong but I couldn't hurt him, Not again, the pain in his eyes the last day made my heart ache. With everything he goes through I wanted this to be one perfect thing in his life... One thing that made both of us happy. So I said the three magical alphabets.

"Yes" I held his hand and looked into his eyes.
He lift his head and  looked into mine. Water, I saw water. He was crying. His tears hurt me and made me think how bad I hurt him the other day.
"Thank you!! I love you" a sense of joy and peace in his eyes. That look meant everything to me. His hands on mine felt like fire and ice...