The Boarding school (Klars)

Chapter 10

Lars cuddled up against me. I wrapped my hands around his waist and yawned. "Man it's been a crazy 48 hours."

"For real." Lars agreed. He rested his head on my shoulder. "I'm glad you went to Crestview. I would have never even met you and I would've probably still be there."

I smiled. "I'm glad I went there too. It was a hellish place but atleast I met you."

Lars kissed me and I kissed him back. He pulled apart from the kiss and smiled as he pulled the blanket over us. "Yeah."

I paused for a second and looked at Lars cautiously. "What if they somehow find us? And they take us all they way back to the school?"

"I don't think that'll happen. We're miles and miles away from there. Don't worry." Lars said reassuringly.

"Okay." I said with a small smile. I then kissed Lars again and yawned. "I'm pretty fucking tired. Goodnight."

"Yeah, same. 'Night babe." Lars said.

But before I could even fall asleep, I heard slight moaning in the other room. I groaned and shifted in the bed. "Is that James and Jason?"

Lars laughed. "I think so." He smirked. "Oh James!!!" He added, moaning to mock Jason.

We both laughed, poking fun at the whole thing. 

But then stopped, looking at each other. Lars then grabbed me by the waist and pulled me closer. "Remember I said we'll finish it later?" He whispered.

I looked at him and flushed pink. "What?" But I'm pretty sure I had an idea of what he was talking about.

"This." Lars replied. He then put his hands around my neck and started to kiss me passionately. I smiled into the kiss as I kissed him back. 

We were then making out, continuing were we left off on the train. He moaned softly. Lars then shifted on top of me, his lips moving down from my lips to my neck. 

I then wrapped my hands around his neck, as he marked me up. I tossed my head back, trying to stifle a moan.

"Fuck me." I said softly. "Please."

"You got it baby." Lars said as he undressed. I then did the same.

It's gonna be a good night.

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The next morning I woke up, a half naked Lars snuggling against me. I smirked, remembering what we did last night.

I ran my fingers through his hair as I sighed happily. I then heard shifting in the bed.

"Goodmorning Kirk." Lars said with a smile.

"Goodmorning." I replied.

We both grinned at each other. "Last night...it was great." I whispered, turning away to hide my blush.

Lars giggled. "You can say that."

I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. "Well, I'm gonna go take a shower." 

Once I got to the bathroom I locked the door behind me and sighed. I then started to overthink everything I did last night.

I hope I pleased Lars enough. I hope he isn't just using me. I hope I didn't mess everything up like some people used to say. Crestview traumatized me that way. I now can't do things the same anymore.

I used to be able to make a mistake and be imperfect and just brush it off. Being the master of not giving a flying fuck.

But now, I'm scared of doing the slightest thing wrong. I'm scared it'll escalate to how things were back at the boarding school. I'm scared I'll get yelled at and told I'm the worst fucking human on Earth. I'm scared to be a failure because at Crestview you had to be perfect. 

I feel like I have to please everyone. No mess ups. Because that's the way they ran things at the boarding school. Implanting fear and manipulating was all they did.

I then banged my hand on the counter. "Don't be fucking stupid. The others had it worse." I muttered to myself. And it's true. Lars, Jason, and James were probably at Crestview for years. They had it way worse. They're more traumatized. So why am I complaining?

I stared at myself in the mirror. Normally I would probably start crying. But not anymore. Because Crestview made me feel numb. They robbed me of emotions. I'm a shell of what I used to be.

I guess it finally hit me that I escaped that hell-hole and realized what I went through there.

"Kirk? You alright in there?" I heard Lars say.

"Yep." I replied. 

Was that a lie? Shit! No! I can't lie. Lying used to get me in trouble. I then started hyperventilating. What if Lars doesn't like lying? What if he'll break up with me? Or I'll get yelled at?

I turned the water on and got in the shower, trying to calm myself down. I'm just overreacting again. I'll be fine. I'm far away from that stupid, fucking boarding school.

Like Lars said, they probably won't find us here.

Right?

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I showered and got dressed. I then stared at myself in the mirror. All I can see is someone weak. Someone who cry's too much. 

Then I started to break down. Lars came rushing into the bathroom, hugging me. "Babe? What's wrong?" 

I don't even know what's wrong at this point. "I...." Was all I was able to stammer out.

"Is it the school?" He asked me.

I nodded my head slowly. "Sure..."

"I guess all the shitty things they said and did to you is all catching up to you now, huh? Not only that but the stuff you witnessed there too." Lars said as he led me to the bed. We then sat down and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Yeah." I mumbled. But I looked up at him and sighed. "But why do you care so much about me? You had it way worse."

Lars laughed and held my hand. "It's 'cause I fucking love you, Kirk." He then tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "And it's not the trauma Olympics. Yeah, I'm pretty fucking traumatized too...but that doesn't mean you can't talk about what you've been through around me or the others. I'll listen to you! We've all been through that hell on earth that they have the audacity to call a school."

I smiled sadly. "I guess...I just feel bad because you were at the school longer than me so you've probably seen worse shit. And I don't know man, I just feel so alone."

Lars hugged me. "We can feel lonely together then. The school hurt all of us in a way. Crestview drained me so fucking much I just feel empty now, y'know?"

"Yeah, I understand that." I said with a small smile. "I guess I feel a bit better now, but that doesn't change the fact that I still feel drained and as if I can't make a single mistake because then I'll get yelled at and told I'm a terrible person and then everyone will hate me and-"

Lars then put his hand over my mouth. "Shh baby, it's ok. You're gonna be ok." 

I nodded my head and he let go. I then sighed. "I just don't know what to do or feel anymore."

Lars smiled and rubbed my arm. "Then we'll figure it out. One step at a time." He then kissed me. "Let's go downstairs, eh?"

I smiled. "Yeah. Ok." I then followed him down the stairs.

Crestview traumatized me. But I'll try and not let it get in the way of my life. I have to keep pushing forward, y'know? It'll be hard but with the help of my friends and boyfriend, I can do it,

One step at a time.

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