Strength given • darth vader/thranduil/oc

12. breaking the ice

I tried to walk without shaking from my nerves, I needed to take a breath, to breathe properly. A hot elf is literally following me to my quarters now and my mind can't help it but wander. I shouldn't be doing this, thinking like this, I've blocked myself out from romantic feelings for years, afraid of the pain.

I started to space out.

I had a lover, my first love. I was broken to pieces when I first met him, he picked me up and held me back together. My first love was the same person to shatter me again. My broken pieces broke into more pieces. I've had many relationships before him, but he was the one that made me vow to never love again. I didn't believe in that sort of love, once I did but not anymore. I trusted him, relied on him for comfort... he took advantage of that, my mental health and used it as an excuse to leave me. It pained me so much, but I was in denial, I felt nothing for a while but then I started crumbling apart. Some nights I would stay up and let the tears fall as my pillow collected it.

Every time I close my eyes, I fear Vader leaving me. He's all I have left, I have no one. I'm an angry person with so much unresolved trauma and he was my release, the one who manages to fill the void in my heart.

A tear slips down my face and my breathing picked up. This didn't go unnoticed by the Elven King, "Are you alright?" Not wanting to say anything, risking a crying voice, I simply nodded and opened the door to my room.

Pointing Thranduil to the seat in front of my bed he asks, "Do you ever take it off? The mask?"

I stopped in my step. My back faced Thranduil as my hands hesitated to move. Lifting my arms, the sound of my mask hisses as I removed it.

Thranduil stares at the back of my tightly braided hair, moving his eyes to follow my movements, watching as I place my mask down on my table stand, back still facing him.

Removing my gloves, I quickly wiped my face trying to remove any evidence of a tear slipping down. I took a deep breath, shuddering as the hairs on my neck stood up.

"She's human..." I turned around facing him as his thoughts travelled to my mind.

"What did you wish to speak of?" I questioned The King, "Nothing... I was just wondering if you needed company, you were angry." He responds.

My lips parted, "I'm fine. You can sit here or have a look around. I'll be in the training room." My room didn't have much to look at. There were jewelry laying around on the table, gifted to me by Darth. Clothes that laid on the black bed bench and my wand that laid on the dressing table. My room was the biggest on the ship compared to others since it's my home. Troopers shared a small room that had a bunk bed with one other trooper. General Hux had his own big enough room and so did the admirals.

I dropped my belt on the ground as I walked into the training room. I placed my lightsaber on a hook before grabbing a sword from the weapon stand. I lifted my sword, swinging it at an imaginary target before turning around only to be met with the sound of two swords colliding.

Thranduil stood before me as I looked up to face him, "You practice with swords? So your main weapon is that... red thing?" he quips, "Yes it is. It's called a lightsaber; I have a red one."

His face expressed curiosity. I nodded, prompting him to ask away, "Tell me more about it."

"A lightsaber is a weapon powered by a kyber crystal," Using the force, I grabbed my lightsaber igniting it, "this is a plasma blade, and this is its hilt. Lightsabers are generally used for both offense and defense. A lightsaber could cut through virtually anything, from flesh to blast doors. Blast doors are very strong doors... it can be used to deflect blaster bolts or to ricochet it back to the enemy. Here, let me show you." Switching off my lightsaber, I lifted my hand to his head, projecting a memory from a battle I was once in. "This was you? What are you?" Thranduil asks in awe, he had never seen anything like this before and he found it fascinating.

"I am human, I think. Father says I'm an entity. A goddess... of destruction, ice, and snow. But I don't know anymore, I don't know if I'm just that." I projected another memory to his mind the one from earlier today where the cosmos flashed through my vision, "I'm a force sensitive. I harness the force and use it, it's how I'm able to do many things... you'll see. In fact, you already saw some of it. I force choked eighth brother, the man back there in the throne room and the pad Bilbo hit in the ship. It's complicated but you'll get used to it."

Thranduil asks another question, "They call you High Lady, why?" I placed my sword back into its place, "My brother had a vision of Father. I wasn't always a High Lady, I was an inquisitor before this and before that I was nobody, I'm not even from this world." I said, sensing he would ask about inquisitors I spoke first, "Inquisitors are people who eliminate the jedi, users of the light side of the force. The inquisitors are part of a program called 'Inquisitorius'. I use the dark side of the force and so does my brother and all the inquisitors. If you'd like, there's a library here on The Devastator, you can read up more on our history there. I can grant you access to more books on Jedis and whatnot, long as you ask." A light smile danced on my lips.

"Thank you, I appreciate it- oh and, Lady Galadriel says we're ought to have a meeting at 9pm." Thranduil informs.

"Thank you, hir nin." The sudden elvish that fell from my lips shocked him, "How?" Looking into his eyes I simply say, "I've read and learnt."

He smiles, "I'll leave you to rest, High Lady but please, call me Thranduil."

I nodded, "Call me Alaneth, if you wish."

A/n: I hope you enjoy this, next chapter up soon. I suck at writing inclusively, but I'll try.

-J