When you're ready

Thats me.

I have struggled with body image since 2nd grade. And all the girls in my grade are so confident. I wish I could be like them. I whore a tight laced pink crop top one day. And I got called "cocky", a "whore", and an "attention seeker". My biggest enemy is  Eve.

Eve has attacked me for what feels like, decades. Ever since 7th grade she has tormented me after we had been best friends but her boyfriend like me. I said not to him because she was my best friend but she didn't believe me. She believed I tried to get with her boyfriend and he said no to me.

That was the first night I self harmed.

But I cant tell anyone that, if anyone figures out I have self harmed I am dead. My parents are way too supportive, they figured out about my self harm and offered a "vacation" to the mental hospital for support.
Which I get where they're coming from, but I didn't know how to take it.

But if anyone at school, especially Eve, finds out about my self harm... I am dead. I would be traumatized by them.

They already make me feel bad about myself, why would I want them to treat me even worse. But I've had the same two special people by my side for years. My best best friend in the whole world, Samaria. And my now boyfriend, Klay. I met both of them in 1st grade. We used to play duck duck goose out on the playground.

Even after school in middle school, because we all knew in our hearts we didn't want to grow up. But once we got to 8th grade, Klay asked me out. And I had been obsessed with him for years. So I said yes, but we obviously still make sure Samaria is included. She is my world, my whole heart.

But my boyfriend Klay and I broke up for a year, then we got back together. He slept with MULTIPLE girls within that time period. at least 6 that I can remember off the top of my head. But I feel like I have so much competition with the girls he has slept with.

But he always says "When you're ready"