Quite Quitting

Beck and Call

"Right, your so nice!" I sarcastically said. "If you didn't sign my paychecks, you would never see me." I threaten.

"Oh, so you love my money more than me?" He said, now putting on his jacket to prepare for the cold October morning.

"Yeah, just the money, and the price for that love will go up fast," I said. Alex gave me a sly smile, and I knew he didn't buy any of it. He knew he had me wrapped around his finger. It was dumb, but I always had difficulty saying no to Alex.

I started working for him 8 years ago as a fresh-faced 22-year-old. Still in college for a hotel admin degree, looking to make some extra cash. Then, he was a 27-year-old man with an idea and daddy's bank account backing him. He impressed me then, and it hasn't completely worn off yet. I still found his mind and personality quite remarkable. He was a smooth talk with great ideas, but more than anything, it was his passion for his work.

Long D was a dating app that was the opposite of tinder. It asked users to date people not from the same location but ensured that our users found people from across the globe. Our mission statement was to make sure couples didn't fall in love with people who experienced the same things they did. Alex wanted our users to date a different culture and experience a foreign country through the eyes of their Long D companion. More critical than this concept of the app was his reason behind it. His mother lived in the Philippines, and his father in the UK. They met on chance when his father was in the Philippines for business but felt sick and ended up at the hospital where his mother was the nurse. His father fell in love and decided to stay, explore and enjoy the country, all thanks to his mother.

"I'll see you later. I'll move the vendor meeting to the afternoon, go home, and get some sleep." Alex said, snapping me out of my awe, and walked out of the room. I watched through the see-through door of the conference room as Alex walked away. This was what he would always do. First, take me to my breaking point, then do something small and kind to reel me back. And I was such a sucker that I let him.

I quickly packed up and started making my way toward the subway. I just needed to take the L train to my Brooklyn apartment that I shared with my roommate and best friend since high school, Sugar.

***

"You fucking look dead! What is wrong with that man? What is wrong with you? Why didn't you just hang up on him? The worse he could do is fire you, and I hope he does! This job is the worse thing that's happened to you! Fuck him! Are you listening to me?" Sugar ranted, pacing in the middle of our small yellow kitchen while I napped on our smaller kitchen table in front of my hot cup of coffee.

"I hear you. I am too tired to defend myself so just say what you want to." I said, dejected.

"Ok, fine. Snap out of it. I know you've been in love with him for like 8 years, but it's not worth it. He knows, and he is using your affection against you." She advised.

"I am not in love with him," I said.

"Oh, please, you have no one fooled."

Fuck, did I not?

The thing was, I wasn't sure if I was in love with Alex. Oh, who was I kidding? No one in their right mind would do the things for their boss the way I did. I had picked up his laundry on demand, cleaned his house before he bought a new bimbo, and ensured he ate lunch, dinner, and even breakfast daily. Even worse, I was sure there was more I did for this man, but right now, I was too tired to beat myself over this. 

"I admit, when I started working for him, I had a thing for him."

"Yeah, because he led you on. Kissed you and pretended nothing happened." Did I forget to mention that Alex and I, in the beginning, had a quick little flirtationship. Well, we did, but that was water under the bridge. One kiss and no recollection from Alex's side the next day. I, on the other hand, remembered everything. His soft caress and tender lips lingered before and after we kissed. The smell of his extra musky cologne that he wore to this day, and every time I got a whiff, it took me back to that night. Our company's first Christmas party was at a bar not too far from this apartment, with bright yellow lights and loud basketball fans, and that's where it happened, our first and last kiss.

"Can we not talk about this? I have to be at work in an hour." I requested.

"I thought you didn't have to go to work till the afternoon?"

"I have some work I need to catch up on. Plus, I want to leave early today. I need at least an hour to do my makeup. I need to convince this Ben guy that I have never had dark circles under my eyes." I said, mainly because I knew Sugar was interested in this topic, and that would get her to drop the your-so-in-love-with-your-boss conversation.

"That's tonight! Finally meeting him in person!" Sugar exclaimed and sat across from me. "You excited?"

"Yeah, we've been texting on and off. I don't think Ben is looking for anything serious since he is moving to Cali at the end of March, but we figure we meet up sooner rather than later."

"OMG! Cal and I are so excited. Cal told me he would be the perfect match for you. He is smart, works in tech, and is really nice! OMG OMG! If this works out, we four can double date!" Sugar gave a small clap.

"He kind of reminds me of Cal." I laughed.

"So what's wrong with my Cal? I'll be the first to say he is a nerd, but he is one of those hot nerds."

"Did I say there was anything wrong with that? We just have different tastes in men, that's all."

"Right! Where you have taste in men who manipulate you, I have taste in normal human men." She said, taking a bite of the donut I had left to eat after I finished my coffee. My double chocolate with chocolate sprinkles was no longer a donut. However, it now resembled the letter C drawn by a toddler still learning to write. 

"I hate you!" I vehemently said.

"You shouldn't. I am the only one you can rely on to tell you the truth." Sugar nodded in agreement with her own statement and took one more bite, making my breakfast almost disappear.

"And eating is the only thing that gives me joy." I cried.

"Fuck, sorry!" Sugar apologized. Then smiled at me, "Come here. Let me give you some Sugar." Sugar then walked towards me and gave me a light peck on my lips. "Some action before you get real action today!" I licked my lips, disappointed because none of the double chocolate had transferred over to me. Still, I smiled because Sugar made me feel better. She always did, and I loved her for it.

"Thanks, Sensi Sugar! I'll use what I learned here today on Ben!" I laughed.

"You do that! Go get you some loving Char Char!" Sugar joined me, and for the next few minutes, my sleep-deprived delusional ass laughed for no goddamn reason. Unfortunately, that happiness only lasted a few moments as my phone started buzzing again. I saw "Alexander The Great" (I did not pick that name for him, he took my phone and programmed it himself) had texted. I let dread wash all over me but waited till the feeling of defeat faded before opening the message.

Couldn't reschedule the meeting. Need you here in 30!

FU-Uh-CK HIM!