Always and Forever || Evan Buckley || 9-1-1 (Book 3)

T-H-I-R-T-Y T-H-R-E-E

    I closed my eyes, tightening my grip on my phone. The sound of his voice loosened the tightness of my chest a little.  

    It made me happy that at least Evan seemed to be doing better since Maddie left, and Chimney took off to find her while incredibly mad at him. I knew it was going to happen. I knew Chimney would get mad at Buck for knowing about Maddie leaving and not having the decency to tell him, but I decided to mind my business because I did not want to be part of any unwanted drama.

   "Hey," my voice cracked a little, but I coughed, trying to hide it.

   "You okay?" I could tell that Evan was no longer smiling by how concerned he sounded. So much for trying to hide how miserable I felt.

    I shook my head, feeling the tears welling up in my eyes. "I miss you," I said before letting out the sob I'd been holding in all this time.

    Evan has been working more shifts due to Eddie and Chimney not being in the 118, making it almost impossible for us to have the same days off after we decided that it was better for Maia if I only worked part-time for the fire department and dedicated my time at the hospital until at least Chimney came back, and Evan could go back to his regular schedule.

    "Baby, what's wrong? Are you still at work?"

    "I hate this day. It's been shit." I admitted, remembering how that little girl smiled at me so brightly every morning as I did my rounds for these past two weeks. Even though we all knew how much pain she was in, the girl never stopped smiling.

    I could hear Evan moving around until the other's voices could no longer be heard. "Hey, take a deep breath. I'm here."

    I did as he said and let a shaky breath out as I exhaled. "She could've been Maia, Buck. It could've been Maia on that operating table. There was so much blood. So much we couldn't see where it was coming from.

    "Oh," Evan sighed, understanding what I was talking about. "I'm sorry. Treating kids during calls has always been difficult, but ever since Maia came along, I can't help but think it can be her the one getting hurt. I understand how you feel, and it's okay to feel that way, but don't let it consume you, Aggs."

It was easier said than done.

After losing two babies and knowing that the chances of never having one were incredibly high and prominent, Maia was really all Evan and I had. If something were to happen to her, I don't know what would happen to us.

I would lose myself again, that was for sure.

"Aggs, listen. We both get off a six, just a couple of hours more. On my way home, I'll grab something for dinner, and we can take a long warm bath before Cara takes Maia home. Then we could prepare Maia for bed and read her a bedtime story together. After, I promise to hold you tight all night long. Just hang in there. I love you."

"Could you also get chocolate cake?" I sniffed, resting my head against the door.

Evan laughed. The sound of it made me smile like an idiot. "Yes, I'll get you chocolate cake."

"I love you." I said back, feeling slightly better. We stayed quiet for a couple of seconds, giving each other company.