Helluva Bodyguard! (Male Hellhound Reader X Helluva Boss)

LOO-LOO LAAAAAAAND!

Y/N: "You don't have to-"

Moxxie: "If you feel any pain, I have some medication that might-"

Y/N: "Okay. Stop it. I'm fine. You don't need to worry, it's not that bad. Promise."

Loona: "Sorry...just don't want you collapsing or something."

Millie: "........"

Loona: "What?"

Moxxie: "Did you just apologize...?Like...sincerely apologize?"

Loona: "That's not-"

Y/N does an overdramtic gasp and turns to Loona with fake tears in his eyes.

Y/N: "Do you CARE about me?!"

Loona: "No! It'd be too much effort to push your body out the door! It's not like that!"

Millie: "Gettin defensive~?"

*Exaggerated Gasp*

Y/N: "You are! You're starting to like me!"

Loona: "No, why would I like you??"

Y/N starts dramatically crying and wiping his eyes, imitating a Valley Girl voice.

Y/N: "This is literally the happiest day of my life! I'm like, totally gonna post this on my page!"

Loona: "Oh god, please stop."

Y/N: "O-M-G! I'm so happy I could like, totally sing right now!"

Loona: "Please fucking kill me."

Y/N: "Okay, I'm done. That voice is annoying."

Moxxie: "Then...why did you do it?"

Y/N: "Wanted to see if I could. And it annoys Loona, so that's always a plus...I'm bored now."

Loona: "Then go do something. Anything, just do it away from me."

Y/N: "Nah, I'm just gonna sleep."

Loona: "On the couch?"

Y/N: "Yeap."

Loona: "The one you bled on earlier?

Y/N: "Yeap, what's the issue here?"

Loona: "....Nothing. Go ahead."
________________________________

Blitzø is sitting in his office...."Playing" with two horribly made figurines of M&M.

Stick Millie: "Oh Blitzø! You're such a good boss!"

Stick Moxxie: "Yeah! I really want you, sir!"

Stick Millie: "Me too!"

Blitzø: "Let's threewaaaay-"

Right as Blitzø was about to continue one of his....disturbing past times, he was rudely interrupted when his phone started ringing.

Blitzø: "WHAT?!"

Stolas: "Why hello, my big ****** Blitzy."

Blitzø spit out his coffee in shock before shouting back at Stolas, hearing a feint voice on the other side of the phone that sounded like it said the same thing.

Blitzø: "What the fuck, Stolas?!"

Stolas: "Language, Everyone! I have a special request-"

Blitzø: "Ugh, well, I just got a chemical peel, so you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass!"

Stolas: "It's for my daughter."

Blitzø: "Ah. Well, just make sure she washes it-"

Stolas: "No! No, no-no-no, I'm taking my daughter to Loo-Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us!"