Wonderland: fell down a rabbit hole, you held on tight to me ('cause...

Chapter 8: i remember thinking i had you

She's never been able to trust easily, especially after losing Pietro. She knew no one could or would, want to try and understand her. Vision had been a surprise. But to have the one person who's been there for all her past, and a great portion of her life, to have him know her future, and her abilities and still see that same unfaltering, undoubting trust. Her heart aches for more, more affection, more trust, more love . She feels angry, but not at Ultron, no. She feels angry that she has had to spend so many years without this affection, so long without it that she doesn't even know how to react to her own twin brother telling her he trusts her. She feels angry that she hasn't had this all her life. She feels angry that she's been deprived of this.

She feels enraged that she doesn't know how to receive it anymore, because she doesn't trust or love herself anymore, and it's so sad, and unfair, that she's seething. But then, a voice reminds her, she can't hold on to grudges. It's better for everyone if she doesn't, so she breathes out shakily, letting go of her anger and resentment (it's just how it is, she tries to tell herself, it's not fair but it's life).

"...okay." She concedes, ignoring that thought in the back of her mind that makes her question whether she can even love Pietro back half as much as he loves her, because she can't even love herself, or respond rightly to his affection. She ignores, again, that voice in the back of her head that answers for her, that tells her no, she cannot love Pietro half as much as he loves her, because she is too scared, too much of a coward to risk loving and losing again, of being a monster because she loved too much. Again. And having him hate her for it. She wants to live in the lie where she's not scared to trust and love her own brother, in fear of it leading to pain.

She wants to live in the lie where she doesn't think of Love as something synonymous to pain. Or something that leads directly to Pain. Pietro would be disappointed.

"Okay?" Pietro mimics.

"Okay." She repeats, mouth dry, and throat stuck. "Touch the sphere."

Pietro nods, as she lets go of his wrist, and he reaches out to touch the sphere that's floating but remaining in front of them, because Wanda's keeping it close, so he could touch it. She moves Liho to the side, for his protection, as she readies herself for the worst, hands at the ready to heal him for any sort of thing her magic does to him but he makes contact with the sphere, and nothing happens to him, aside from the way he rushes forward when the sphere starts moving away, and he's still holding on so tightly that it begins to drag him from his bed.

She feels glad that her Chaos Magic seems to accept him as someone not to hurt, when it's existing passively. Or, it might just be that it doesn't hurt anyone when it exists passively. Whatever it is, she's glad nonetheless.

"Wanda!" he calls, "Help! I don't wanna get up yet! I just got comfortable!! Mister Diddles, please help!"

Exactly what he thought a turtle was going to do to help him not get dragged off the bed was beyond Wanda. All sentimentality and affection she felt for him turns to exasperation (and fondness) in almost half a second, and she gives him a deadpan look. "...just let go of it?"

Pietro stops, and then realization hits, and he gives her a sheepish smile. "Right." He lets go of the sphere, and retreats back into the bed, sitting by Wanda. She tries not to facepalm. "Anyway, make more! Make more! Light up the whole room!"

Wanda smiled, affection and fondness returning, and she moved her hands together again, and in 10 minutes, there were about a dozen energy spheres floating around the room, half of a dozen up higher than they both can physically reach, and half closer to them, and the spheres seem to be rotating around the room. A slow float, but they're easy to knock around.