A life without you | DNF

life without you

He can't look at him. Dream is standing in the doorway, a big sweater hanging from his shoulders, loose shorts sitting low on his waist and letting a sliver of Dreams soft skin show when he stretches his arms over his head.

George closes his eyes; he feels Dream come up behind him. He slings his arms around his waist, chin digging into his shoulder for a second. He feels Dream's lips ghost over the back of his neck, making goosebumps appear on his skin. He kisses him, once, twice, and then his lips are gone, whispering, "Good morning."

The low rumble of Dreams morning voice makes him relax. It feels comforting. It reminds him of the many mornings spent together, laying in bed and watching the sunrise through Dreams window. He tries not to think about the fact that he doesn't know when he will hear it again after today. Maybe never.

He opens his eyes slowly and leans back into him.

"Mornin'." He mumbles.

"You're up early." It sounds more like a question than a statement.

George answers, "I wanted to make breakfast in bed for you."

Dream doesn't say anything for a bit. He squeezes his arms around George one more time before he lets his arms fall away and steppes back.

"I thought you were already gone." It comes out as a whisper, insecurity and sadness mixed together.

If George thought his heart couldn't break anymore, he was clearly mistaken. Hearing Dream sound so small and broken makes him upset. But the only one he can be upset about is himself. Because, truly, he was the cause, and he knew.

So, he doesn't say anything back, just continues finishing the last pancakes. When they are done, he moves everything to the table that Dream is already sitting at.

George looks up at Dream when he sets down their plates. Big mistake. Dream is sitting slouched in his chair, head hanging forward and hands wringing in his lap. He sits down on the chair next to him, sitting as close as possible.

They eat their first pancakes in silence, neither of them speaking.

It seems Dream has had enough of it though," We could go to Italy."

George has to strain his ears to understand him. It was an idea, a quiet confession to not do this.

He looks at him and Dream is already looking back. His eyes are full of hope and want. He grabs Georges hands, pulls them to his chest.

"Or we could go to Sweden, or Belgium or the Netherlands, these are close by we wouldn't be that far away if you wanted to meet you family or..." George looks down and Dream stops his rambling.

George knows they have these options. He knows they can go somewhere else and live freely, or at least live without having to fear of being arrested. It feels cowardly though, running away like that. Not to mention that it's already too late. The wedding has been planned and paid for; his whole family has been invited. He couldn't not do it. It would bring up questions. Questions he was not ready to answer.

"Dream," he sighs and slips his hands from Dreams, "You know we can't... I can't." He whispers the last part.

"No, I'm not going without you." He scoots his chair even closer, their knees knocking together. George is going to miss this. Random touches throughout the day that still make him feel breathless like on the first.

"Dream, you could go there and start a new life. You could find someone new and live happily with them. You could be free." Every word feels like a punch in the gut. Imagining Dream with some other guy makes jealousy rise in him. But even if it hurts, he wants Dream to be happy. Even if that's without him.