Written In The Stars: Book Two

CHAPTER SEVEN: FAMILY THERAPY

Three weeks into his twelve-week program, and most of the symptoms of detox had faded, decent enough shape for family therapy. He was allowed to start last week, but Elijah didn't want Mary seeing him like that. She'd only seen him shit-faced once, and looked absolutely horrified. Going through detox, he didn't look that great either.

Still didn't, but the tremors faded, the headaches weren't nearly as excruciating. His moods had tamed, and he was sleeping a bit better with his new medication. Now that Elijah no longer looked and felt like death, now was as good of a time as any.

He took a long, slow drag of his cigarette before tapping the ashes off, landing on the pavement beside his shoe. Elijah hadn't smoked a single cigarette in a good ten years at least, but Jonathan told him it'd take the edge off, which it did. Most of the residents here smoked, and although the staff didn't encourage it, they didn't stop them either.

And it did help.

"When did you start smoking?" Mitch's voice cut through the air of the traffic going through the main road, a sound he found strangely smoothing.

Elijah turned his head to see Mitch walking with Mary by his side, holding hands up the stone path.

After one final, desperately long drag, Elijah put the cigarette out on the ground, then tossed it in the littered tray. "Last week. Calms my nerves. It's not forever, and even if it is, it's better than what I was doing to myself."

"S'pose so," Mitch agreed. "So, how you doing, kid?"

Elijah shrugged as Mary took a seat beside him on the bench, clearly avoiding looking at him too closely. Instead of calling her out on it, Elijah simply draped his hand over hers. "Better. Still feel like crap, but I don't feel like I'm dying anymore, so that's something."

When the small group remained quiet, Elijah continued. "My roommate, Jonathan, calls himself a rehab lifer. Says he's been in enough of these to know when someone can overcome it, and when someone can't or won't. According to him, I have what it takes to beat this."

"You really have no idea just how strong you are, do you?" Mary asked rhetorically, her eyes remaining on the traffic passing in the distance. "There's never been a doubt in my mind that you can beat this, or anything else that comes your way. You are the strongest person I've ever met in my life, Elijah. You've beat every odd, over and over again. This time is no different. It just took you longer to want to fight it."

Elijah nodded absently, not fully believing in her words. There was at least instance besides alcohol where the odds were stacked against him. Or maybe they weren't, and he'd just sabotaged himself. To this day, Elijah wasn't sure which it was. Did he fail to conquer his demons, or did he just lean into them, not bothering to fight at all? "How are you two doing?" He asked, ready to change the subject.

"Been busy worrying about you," Mitch admitted before he leaned himself against the wall. "I'm not as worried as I was yesterday, though, so I suppose that's an improvement. You look good, Elijah. We're all damn proud."

Damn proud.

With Madeline, they were proud when she graduated high school. Proud when she went off to college. They were probably proud when she moved into her first house, which he was told she was no longer living in. With him? They were proud he was in rehab, not that this was the first time he'd felt their pride for him.

"How the hell did I get here?" Elijah asked himself aloud. "I was doing okay. I had my own place, a decent job, good friends, I had hobbies. Then I had to go show up to her house, thinking we could just pick up right where we left off, and nothing would change. But everything changed as soon as I saw her standing there. I should have just stayed gone."

Mitch's palm landed on Elijah's shoulder. "You think the breakup did this to you, but honestly, that was just the straw that broke the camel's back. You suppressed all these emotions and all these fears, and losing her just opened you up to everything at once.

"But don't think for a second that you should have stayed gone, Elijah. No one wanted that. We all wanted you back in our lives, and I'm still damn grateful for that, even now. Even with these last two years. Something was bound to snap, kid. It was only a matter of time. You can only run from your demons for so long. What happened with Maddie just slowed you down so you couldn't run from the rest of it anymore.

"Any big thing could have caused this, Elijah. What matters is that you stop running and finally face all of it. If you needed rehab to do accomplish that, so be it."

"We're here for you, son. All the way," Mary chimed in, finally turning her head to look directly at him. "I know this hasn't been an easy couple of years, or an easy life, for that matter. And I know I haven't been there for you like I should have been. But you're my child, and I love you forever. You could kill someone, and I'd love you. No amount of time changed that, and this won't change that.

"Almost fifteen years ago, you stood in our house crying as you said goodbye. Do you remember what I told you?"

Elijah felt moments away from crying now. Because he did remember. He remembered, and he'd failed them. "You told me to have a great life," he spoke to her, his voice barely above a whisper. "You wanted me to be happy, and I let you down."

"You've never let me down, Elijah, because your time hasn't run out. Being here will give you the tools to create a great life for yourself, and those same tools will help you find happiness within yourself. Not attached to a person or object, but internal and eternal. You have the power, not the darkness. You."

Unable to hold back, Elijah leaned against his mom and allowed the tears to fall. "I want to be better, but I don't know how."

This time, it was Mitch who spoke. "You let the stars guide you."