𝙇𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙡 | 𝙏𝙤𝙢 𝙃𝙖𝙣𝙨𝙤𝙣

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟏𝟐: 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲

Saturday, November 17th, 1989

Dear Tommy,

Hey, angel. I've decided to write you letters so I can keep a record of what happens each day leading up to the day you wake up. I plan to give them to you then, so that you can know what you missed. It's also therapeutic for me, because I don't know what to do, and normally when something is wrong I just tell you. But I can't really do that now, so this is the perfect solution.

It's the day after you were taken to the hospital. Oh baby, when I heard the news that you had been shot, I was so scared. And when I saw you in that hospital bed, it felt like my life had fallen apart. I wanted so badly to say something to you, even though you were unconscious, but I was too emotional, and plus everyone was there. It was such an awful night. But, all of your friends from work and your captain were all there and it was so nice to have them by my side. I really needed the support. Oh, and I met your mom! She was so sweet. I think she likes me! We both care about you so much love, and we want you to get better.

I visited you today, all by myself. I actually knew that if I didn't pull myself together and leave my house, I would never be okay. So I finally got out of bed and came to see you. It was nice to have a private moment with you alone, I was able to really think as I was watching you breathe. I actually ended up taking to you a little bit. I just told you that I need you to get better, and that I love you so much. And that I'm so, so sorry. I plan to visit you every day Tommy, so you'll get this letter tomorrow. Hopefully you'll wake up then. I miss you so much.

Love,

Your Becca

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Sunday, November 18th, 1989

Dear Tommy,

Today I brought you some flowers and left them on the little table by your bed. You'll be able to see them when you wake up. They're gardenias and I think you'll really like them. They're supposed to symbolize hope.

You're still out. The doctor keeps saying you'll wake up soon, but I'm starting to worry. I know I should be hopeful, and I am, but part of me can't shake off the anxiety and fear of losing you. You just mean so much to me, and the guilt that I have about how the last time I saw you, when we had that terrible argument is eating me alive. I plan to make it up to you as soon as possible.

I told you I loved you today, and I kissed your forehead. I wish I could say it to you for real, so you could hear me and you could tell how much I mean it. Just hoping and praying that you wake up soon...

Love always,

Your Becca

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Monday, November 19th, 1989

Dear Tommy,

It's been 3 days since you ended up in the hospital. I'm so worried, lately I haven't really been eating or sleeping properly. I didn't go to school or work today, I just can't bring myself to leave our apartment. It makes me feel closer to you.

I came to see you again. I was doing so well before but these days I'm finding it so hard to go on without you. I know I have to be strong for you, and when you wake up you're gonna need me, but it's not so easy. I wish you would wake up so that I could start being strong but it feels impossible when I don't even know if you-