I Can't Do This To You Anymore

What Have I Done?...

The deed was done, eventually the sobbing had stopped and Ted was left to die. But as Felix left, he felt a sudden pang in his chest. He-He didn't actually feel regret for this right?! No, that was stupid, his slightly younger twin brother was an obstacle, and as father said "Obstacles only get in the way, so its better to avoid them or destroy them" 

While Felix always took after their father, Ted represented their mother and that's one thing father hated. Of course, mother was a mistake that was made and he couldn't get rid of her, so she stayed put. Felix rolled his eyes and opened the door to the limo, "Hello my dear boys-" As Felix's fathers eyes transitioned to the rear view mirror, his face twisted into confusion. "Where's your brother Felix? Did you leave him locked in the school again?" 

As Felix started to open his mouth, he closed it thinking, it was better to lie than tell him yet, after all, what if father wasn't happy about it? So he just went with the normal answer he gave, "Yes" His father shrugged and a rumble occurred when he started the car, he drove away to his home and started to talk with the boy, "I have something important to tell you, me and your mother, we've made up and were now going to be a perfect family, no more mistakes or slip ups" 

Felix smirked, this was amazing news but he was stricken with realization, maybe it wouldn't be perfect, Teddy was dead and he would stay that way, but maybe he wouldn't?

Once they got home, the boy dove straight for his room. He got onto his phone and searched up how long can someone survive being pushed down a hole and buried alive. Yes, he did well research of how to plan Ted's death, but he wasn't prepared for these feelings rising inside of him. Before Felix found an answer, he noticed Ted's beside drawer was open. He curiously got up, put his phone upside down on his bed and went over. 

Inside was a small notebook, large bold red letters were writing on the cover, "TED'S DIARY, PLEASE DO NOT READ", well he wasn't here to stop him was he? Felix opened the book and started to read through the pages. 

Day #1

Dear Diary, 

I got this from mother today! I said I would use it as soon as I could and I kept that promise as I am here writing this down now aren't I? Heh! Anyways let's start with some basic info, shall we?

Name: Theodore Pennelope Huxley

Age: 9

Favorite food, color, animal: Spaghetti, red, bunnies

Sexuality: Pansexual

Pronouns: He/Him/They/Them/It

Fears: Fear of being alone/being without Felix for too long, fear of spiders

I kept this short as possible, I am the younger twin brother of Felix Huxley, he's the best! In a few days we start our first day of kindergarten at a new school, of course I am kinda scared but I know Felix will be there, telling me to behave and do what he says

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Day #7

Dear Diary,

I'm starting to realize something, I think Felix doesn't love me as much as I love him, I think he actually hates me, but that can't be true...can it? I got a B+ on my report card today, I showed mother first, she was so proud of me, I was proud of her too, just proud of her for parenting me like an actual mother would and being there for me, as much as I would like to continue the happy part of this, there's really not much to say anymore...

I showed father right after, I was kinda hoping he would be proud of me but...he, he hit me, beat me, told me I was a disgrace to the family name and that I would never be able to run a business ever. Felix reminds me a lot of him, they both express their love in funny ways! Isn't that a way of showing love? Isn't it?...isn't it?

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Day #17

Dear Diary,

I hate myself, I hate everything about me, I'm worthless, I can't do anything right and I've even resorted to cutting myself! What is wrong with me!? Of course I hid the small knife somewhere no one but me could find it but the blood gets harder to clean up everyday and I'm scared Felix will find out

I'm a mistake as it is, I overheard father talking with mother earlier today, he said she was a mistake to this family and that so was I...then I had the thought that he was right, thats when I found that knife and started to cut, I have Felix and mother at least, but then again, maybe father just has a very very funny way of showing his love for me?

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Day #31

Dear Diary,

Felix had a great idea! He says we would kill Ozzy, he says our companies are rivals and he should be taken care of, if this gives me a chance to prove I'm worth something to father and them, then I'll gladly do it, I have a plan! I want to give Ozzy an asthma attack, maybe that new kid could help? He's very smart from what I've both seen and heard, I can't wait! After I prove myself, it means I can stop cutting and being beaten! I heard the term for beating a child is called abuse! So then after father will stop abusing me! He'll show me actual love instead of funny ways!

Then the pages went blank, no more words filled the script, Felix's heart rate dropped dramatically, Ted didn't tell him this? Father has been beating his little brother and Ted...cuts himself...What has he done? Oh, oh god what has he done!? His eyes went wide when he saw something else in the drawer, he took it out, it was an envelope that read "FOR TED'S EYES ONLY"

He took out the piece of paper that was in it and started reading, Felix went stiff and he felt his pulse stop for a moment.

Suicide ideas

Hanging - Maybe, but hard to climb a chair and I would have to find someone who would actually help me which wouldn't be anyone

Gun/shooting - Very likely option, of course the loud bang would alert one of my family members and the hospital would save me probably so most likely not

Overdose - MAYBE

Jumping - Very VERY VERY LIKELY, common way for people to go, jump from a high enough building or something no one would be able to save me!

Felix let the paper from from his hands to the floor as he placed his hands over his mouth. What in the Huxley family name did he actually just do!? The boy grabbed his phone and looked at the answer he was searching for

10 minutes to an hour, he didn't have much time
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Kid felt his body tense as he watched Nugget leave for the day, he made sure no teachers were watching and ran to the recess area. Nugget had just filled in the hole a little bit ago, he grabbed the shovel and started to dig as fast as he could. He couldn't leave Ted down there to die, he...he just...he just couldn't.

Once he reaches Ted, he picked the smaller boy up with one arm and used the other to climb his way out of the hole. He placed Ted down and felt for his pulse, it was barely there. He heard heavy breathing fill the air, "Felix!?"

"I KNOW A HOSPITAL HURRY!"