Pippa

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When my plane touches down in Connecticut, less than an hour after leaving New York I call an uber and give him directions to my house. It's about a 30-minute drive from the airport to my house. 15 minutes in, I start noticing familiar things outside my window. Neighborhoods I've passed hundreds of times. Grocery stores that I bought candy from when Cara and I would have sleepovers, sometimes with Lauren before she went boy crazy.

Then we get into my town. My home. As we drive through I look around. I see coffee shops, the police station, and Nat Da Silva's neighborhood. But every happy memory is masked by a bad one.

The woods that I would go for walks in. The same woods Jason Bell had killed my dog in. The police station, that had always made me feel safe until my senior year when I realized how incompetent our police chief is. The backroad that leads to the old farmhouse, where Stanley Forbes had been shot. Six times. Six shots. They echo in my head, even now, three years later.

Lost in thought and memories, I almost don't notice the turn into my neighborhood. I sit up and look at each house. I want to cry, but I just smile sadly. We pull up outside of my house. The house I learned to walk and talk in, the house I had been stalked in. The house that contained all of my best memories, and all of my worst. Tears try to push through but I blink them back.

I pay the driver $50 and get out of the car. I walk up my driveway. I can still remember the little stick men that Jason "DT" Bell had used to 'mark' me as his next victim. I shake my head. I would try to have a good time on break. To enjoy the company of my old town.

I walk up to my door and try the knob. Locked. Guess dad has accidentally locked it when he went up to bed. I reach under the ceramic gnome on the porch table and lo and behold a key. I unlock the house and pull my earbuds out of my ears.

The lights are off. I carefully walk upstairs carrying my suitcase with me. I walk into my room and flick on the light. My room is perfectly preserved. it's clean and devoid of most of my personal belongings but my bed is made, the floor freshly vacuumed, and the dresser and desk clear.

I put my suitcase on the dresser and my bag on the desk. I quietly walk out of my room and peek into Josh's.

He's wrapped up in blankets and pillows on his bed. I want to cry just at the sheer sight of him. he's grown so much, and I regret missing that stage of his life. I walk in and sit on the foot of his bed. I stare out his window and quietly listen to his gentle breathing for a few minutes.

I stand and lean over the bed, giving him a gentle kiss on the forehead. I leave his room, shutting the door quietly behind me. I walk back to my room and sit on my old bed. I look around my room. There were pictures of baby me on the walls, there was a stain on the carpet next to my bed from spilling grape juice when I was 7.

I lay down. Something is calming about being in my room. It reminds me of simpler times when I didn't have any real worries. As melancholy as I feel, when I drift off to sleep, I'm happy. I've missed this place. And I will be happy here, even if it's just for a week.

Next Morning

I awake to the sound of sizzling and the smell of pancakes. Pancakes. My mom's pancakes. 

I stand up and walk downstairs. "Pippa?!" My mom calls from the kitchen. "Morning mom!" I smile. I rush into my kitchen. My dad is sitting at the table drinking coffee.

My parents look up.

"Hey, kiddo!" My mom walks around the island to get to me. She wraps me in a hug and I respond enthusiastically. I throw my arms around herw and bury my face in her neck.

"Morning Pickle!" my dad says, standing up to come to embrace me as well. We stay like that for a few moments before I feel something brush my ankle. I look down and see an orange tabby kitten looking up at me.

"Awh! hi!" I lean down and pick the little fuzzball up. "What's your name?" I say to the kitten.

"His name's Benny!" a high-pitched voice says behind me. I turn around and almost tackle my little brother to the ground with a hug, kitten still in one hand. It Meows angrily. "Oh sorry." I gently set the kitten on the ground and it prances away with a flourish of its tail.

"Hey, Joshie!" I say turning back to my brother. "How are you doing?"

"Great! I got a girlfriend!" He exclaims. "A girlfriend huh? What's her name?"

"Penelope." He says leading me into the living room. "Huh, pretty name. Is she nice?"

"Yep! Super funny too!"

"That's great. I want to hear all about your life for the past few months." I go quiet. "I'm sorry, by the way. For not being here. It's just-"

"Collage! yeah, I know, It's okay. I'm glad you're here now though!"

"Yes, and I want to spend a ton of time with you. How bout', tomorrow we go out and spend the whole day together, just you and me. How's that sound?"

"I'm going over to jack's tomorrow. How about... the next day?"

"You have school the next day mister." My mom calls from the kitchen. "Can't I skip? It's just one day!"

"We'll talk about it!" my dad says. I laugh and ruffle his curly hair. "Maybe I can pick you up early or something," I say, pulling my hand off of his head.

"Why not today?"

"Because I want to go walk around Fairview, I've missed it. And I'm meeting Ra- an old friend this evening so I can't do much.

"Ohhh... okay!" He smiles. and I smile. "PANCAKE TIME!!!" My dad sings, leaning into the living room. I scoop josh up and throw him back onto the couch, in an attempt to run and get pancakes first. "No fair!" He calls, running after me.

My mom's pancakes were amazing as always. "Did you hear about the trial?" My dad says. I freeze. "Victor!" My mom chides. "Yes, I did. Glad he got what he deserved." 76 years, no parol, because some of the women Max had roofied had stood with Nat Da Silva, her case was reopened. 32 for the assault, murder, and murder of Jason Bell and 44 for the 14 women whom he had assaulted, drugged, and raped. Not life, but as good as. He was already in his late 20s or early 30s, he'd be dead and rotted before he left that cell.

My parents nodded, clearly sensing that I didn't want to talk. "Okay, I'm gonna go on a run. I'll see you guys in a bit. Thanks for the food mom, it was amazing.

And with that, I fled to my room.

I dress in a blue tank top, grey sweatshirt, and black leggings. I brush and tie my hair back, and grab my phone off the charger. I grab a water bottle before I leave. I pull up my phone and type in Nat Da Silva's address.

I start running, I run for 5 minutes, jog for 4, and walk for 3. The same routine I've had for the last two and a half years.  I reach Nat's house in just 3 cycles. I knock on the door.

"It's open!" A voice calls from inside. I crack open the door. "Nat?" I call. "Pip!?" Nat says, rushing down the hall to greet me. "I thought you were Jamie, he's meant to be here any second." She wraps me in a hug. "How are you, pretty girl?" She beams at me. "Good, I've been really good. I'm back in town for the next two weeks, Christmas and stuff, y'know."

"Of course, sit down, oh my gosh I've missed you so much."

Her hair has grown out. it's long and blonde tied back into a ponytail. She's wearing a shirt that I suspect to be Jamie's, based on the size, and grey sweatpants.

"I've missed you too!" I say. "Okay. Tell me everything about college."

"Okay, so...."

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