Amid the Clouds (Brave New World Book 1)

Chapter 21

I peed for as long as I could. Then I did some splashing in the crystal bowl filled with water - the washbasin? - to make it sound as though I was still peeing.

I had to postpone the moment of having Xan next to me for as long as possible. I had to regain full control over my body and my erratic thoughts before he joined me.

I wasn't very successful in that task. How could I put my priorities straight when a tiny voice in my head just kept repeating, Tell him to come in? On and on, like a broken record.

And I probably was broken, to have fallen to the level of the women who had been here before me. Those women who had gone crazy over Xan's rejection after a single night in his bed. Because at the mere thought of being denied access to him, I felt absolutely ready to storm palaces and climb walls.

It wasn't about the otherworldly sex: it was about being close to him. In his presence. How pathetic was that?

This had to be the result of me surviving an apocalypse after apocalypse on my own. Disconnected from my close friends and family, who used to live in Europe; who knew where they were now and if they were even alive. Sure, I had had my little community in the past several weeks, but I had never felt close enough to them to share intimate things.

Therefore, it was not surprising that Xan bringing me to his magical palace free of apocalyptic dangers and giving me pleasure like no other before him, along with small gestures of care, had gotten me all mushy inside. Had brought down my protective walls. If he pushed me away now, there would be no walls to protect me. I wasn't ready for that, at least not tonight.

So when he barged in without knocking, I barely protested. When he turned the tropical cloud on and extended a hand to me, I went to him without hesitation. At least I was strong enough not to run to him, as that tiny voice in my head was currently suggesting.

Maybe there was hope for me yet.

Xan went into the tub and helped me join him in there under the tropical rain. He kissed me under the rain, too, his arms going behind my back and his tail wrapping itself around my leg. It was a gentle kiss, not demanding anything other than a soft response from me.

Brushing my wet locks away from my face with both hands, he looked down into my eyes. "I cannot believe I have found you, anima! I thought I had yet to prove myself to the Gods, and I thought I knew how strong the effect of the mating bond would be, but... One touch of your fingers along my wings and you undid me. One minute without you in the circle of my arms and I was already hurting."

"I can see that," I said with a teasing tone, glancing indicatively down at his fully erect cock. It was easier for me to joke than to admit I had felt the same way during our short separation.

"I was talking about physical pain, anima, in my chest." There was no humor in his tone. "Did you not feel it?"

I didn't reply, not willing to admit anything either to him or myself.

He caressed my cheek with a finger. "You are still refusing to accept the mating bond as real, little human. I get it. I am afraid, too."

"You're afraid?" What was a strong gargoyle king afraid of?

"The mating bond changed everything," Xan said, passing a clawed thumb across my lips. Strangely, I found that more pleasing than the feel of the tropical raindrops on my skin. "I was one before, and now I have you to think about, care for and protect. I was ready to die before, including today, without having any regrets other than that of leaving my homecloud without a king. Now I want to live for you and the future we will share together. I was not afraid of anything before, knowing that whatever the Gods will, shall be, but I am afraid now. I am afraid of seeing you hurt, losing you..."

I swallowed hard. He sounded sincere, and maybe he was. Maybe he believed every word, because he believed in the mate myth completely. Either way, his emotional statement made me ache inside. Because as scary as such complete commitment sounded, part of me wanted the mating bond to be real. The fairy tale of true love to be real.

I was acting dumb, but I couldn't help it.

"But no more of this tonight, anima," he finished. "You need your rest, and you need time to accept our unity of soul."

His words helped me come back to reality. "I should get some sleep, it's true."

No more daydreaming, foolish me! I had to wash and rest so that tomorrow I could have my strength, protective walls and sound mind back at 100 percent.

"Can we both fit in this tub?" I asked when he pulled me down along with him.

"Of course. My father, before he mated my mother, could fit four human females with him in this same tub."

"Oh." Talk about heritage. "That's... awkward." I sat down with my back to his chest, following the 'instructions' of his tail along my hips. "Have you done things like that? Had more than one woman here with you?"

"No, jealous little human." He sounded as if he were speaking through a broad smile. He removed some of my wet locks from my left shoulder and kissed me there. I shivered in pleasure. "Now shush. I want to enjoy every second of bathing you, anima."

I smiled myself. "Fine." I, too, could enjoy being bathed by a gargoyle. "But don't tease me. We just bathe, okay?"

He didn't reply. He started massaging soap over my shoulders instead.

Darn, he was going to tease me, wasn't he?

He didn't. Not even once.

I wanted him, though. Because his tender moves during our bath, coupled with his gaze locked with mine once I turned to face him, were so much more intimate. That's why for those five minutes or so of him bathing me, I let myself imagine that there was more than a sexual connection between us based on some mysterious pheromones. That there was something deeper which linked us in a way my human mind couldn't comprehend.

I tried to bathe him just as intimately yet innocently, but it was hard. His body was perfection. It was made for sinning, as a friend of mine used to say. And with him being so composed and in control, I felt the need to tease him. To make him lose that perfect control of his, just like he had earlier in bed.

He didn't let me. My advances with the soap underwater anywhere below his waist got blocked. So did my reach for one of his wings while I was giving him a kiss of thanks for the bath.

"Sneaky little human." He shook his head with a smile, his hold around my wrist unyielding.

I had thought that with his hands busy on my lower back during the kiss, there would be no stopping my teasing fingers from progressing towards their target. But I had totally forgotten about his tail.

"Can I wash your wings?" I asked innocently. "They will let me since I am your anima, won't they?"

"Do not start something you cannot finish, little blessing," he said in my ear.

"I'm patient. I'm sure I can wash them thoroughly before I get too sleepy–"

"Do not touch my wings even with a single fingertip. Not unless you are ready to be claimed over and over again until sunrise."

"Um..." I bit my lower lip and pulled away. He had a point.

He also had a way with words that got me hot down sought in a heartbeat.

He gathered me in his arms and tail and flew us out of the tub. He landed next to the towels and dried me up with his eyes on mine, never teasing.

I did the same for him, having learned my lesson.

Without saying anything, he picked me up again, carried me through the door into the bedroom, and flew towards the bed. As he laid me on it, I noticed someone had changed the sheets during our bath. They were soft like the towels and were the color of a mossy plain.

My eyes began closing as soon as my head touched the sheets. But it was when Xan spooned me that I relaxed completely. With his arm around my waist and his tail over my hip, I surrendered to a deep and peaceful sleep.