"Alright Miss, that's about everything, then."
Being forced back into the present moment, I turned to the man who was in charge of packing up all of our things. My vision was slightly blurred as I smiled and nodded in confirmation, thanking him for all his help.
With my thumbnail between my teeth, staring at the empty bedroom, I heard his footsteps creaking on the stairs before he spoke with Harry in the living room. I could hear Harry then confirming the storage unit that all our old furniture would be taken to while we figure out what to do with it all, but I didn't want to think about that right now.
I did honestly expect to get emotional when Harry asked me to move in just two weeks into our new relationship, but I didn't know it would feel like this even after a week of preparing for it. I could swear to you that it was just yesterday that we were both drenched in early summer sweat, moving into our first flat and putting together all of our dirt-cheap furniture by ourselves. I remember feeling so grown up, so excited for our future with no idea what it would hold.
Yes, some of the most painful memories that I carried with me came from this apartment, but in the same respect, all of my favorite memories happened here too. All the times Harry and I have stumbled up those creaking stairs drunk or high, laughing uncontrollably as we'd fall onto the mattress and sleep in our clothes. All the songs he had written in his journal, unbeknownst to me, while I was reading next to him. All the lazy days in bed, the deep conversations, the teasing arguments, the meals made, the movies watched, the music listened to. It all happened here.
I knew we were about to start what would potentially be the most exciting journey our relationship has ever seen, and I was so excited and ready for the three of us to be a family under the same roof, but I didn't think it would be so hard to say goodbye to all of this. I felt like I was giving up a piece of myself, whether that was overdramatic or not. This was Charlie's first home as much as it was mine and Harry's. It was a special place.
"K, Stella I think..." Harry trailed off as he walked in to see me facing the empty space where our bed and two nightstands used to be. I had my hand over my mouth to keep from sobbing too loudly, but it was obvious enough that I was crying, I guess.
The hardwood creaked quietly under every step he made toward me, holding Charlie on his hip. I wanted to apologize for crying, but I was afraid if I opened my mouth then I wouldn't be able to keep it under control. Charlie never really saw me cry, and I didn't want to scare her now.
"Hey," Harry let her slide down to the floor, then gently held the back of my neck to bring me into his chest. "I know it's hard, huh?"
His confirmation only made me cry harder, muffling the sob into his jumper. Charlie tugged at my jeans with a puppy dog pout of her own, clutching Ellie in her free hand. I laughed through my cries at that point, apologizing to her as I crouched down to pick her up. She looked so sad for me, understanding that crying meant sadness in most cases.
"Why you cry, mama?" She tilted her head at me. "You sad?"
For fucks sake, neither of these two people were helping me.
"Yeah, mama's just a little sad, baby," I sniffled and pressed a kiss to her cheek despite the tears streaming down my own. She hugged my neck the same way I hug her when she was upset, forcing me to shake my head as I rubbed her back and sort of bounced her a little.
"You...I mean, you wanted this right?" Harry asked, a look of concern on his face as though maybe he thought he pressured me into moving out. I guess he did a little bit, but that was just because he was eager to have us all be together, and I wanted that too.
