The Lightning Flash

Chapter 32: Kirito vs. POH

"Now, things are getting interesting, Black Swordsman," he said, almost sounding happy. "Hahahaha...ya know, if I wasn't so dead set on butchering you for talking to my family, I might actually consider this shit fun.  I've dreamed about this day.  Finally, getting the chance to fight the man responsible for slaying so many of the players in Laughing Coffin. Seeing you kill all of them for the sake of your precious little girlfriend was one of the most beautiful sights I had ever seen."

"Talking to your family...to Ms. Tanaka and Lilith...helped me understand why you think the two of us are similar," I said, despite the words, themselves, making me feel sick to my stomach.  "Everything you do...no matter how fucked up...it's for Lilith, isn't it?  I always thought you were some kind of monster that took pleasure in killing but I even question that, at this point.  I...kind of wish I never did visit your family because now when I fight you, I no longer see that monster...that blood thirsty monster that I hated so much.  That's only part of what I see.  The other part...is just a man...doing whatever it takes to protect the person he cares about most...even if it involves killing and putting innocents in danger.  That's why you think we're the same, right, Vassago?"

It was strange using POH's real name, especially at a time like this but it felt appropriate.

"You think we're the same because I have no problem killing to protect Asuna just like you have no problem killing in order to protect Lilith.  Isn't that right?  But here's the thing, Vassago; we are different.  I don't take pleasure in—"

"Hahahahaha!"

I was interrupted by POH laughing, maniacally.

"What?  You don't take pleasure in killing?  Is that what you were going to say?  Ya see, Black Swordsman, I learned a very important lesson when I was younger.  Sometimes, telling yourself that you enjoy killing...makes it all so much more bearable.  The feelings of guilt...regret...all of these bullshit emotions go away without a trace.  You should give it a try."

"Why the hell would I?" I asked, harshly.

"I'm not stupid, Black Swordsman.  I can see they weigh, heavily, on you.  The lives you've taken.  The people you've killed to protect the person you care about most.  Tell me.  Do you have nightmares about them?  Do you find yourself thinking about them...about whether or not they had any families...about whether they had a significant other...whether they had children...whether they were even bad people to begin with?"

"Shut up," I responded, coldly.

"Have you thought that all of those poor souls you killed back in SAO were just brainwashed idiots and that, before they met me and joined Laughing Coffin, they were just normal nerds, who loved gaming, like you?"

"Shut up."

"Do you ever wonder if your little girlfriend is actually a tad scared of you since she knows what you're capable of, firsthand?  Have you ever stopped to actually think about how she feels in regards to you taking lives for her sake?"

"S-Shut up."

"Oh, but I suppose things are a little bit different, now, huh?  I mean, she's killed someone as well so I guess the two of you can bond over that fact, these days.  Although, if you had just been a little bit stronger, then you could have been the one to kill Sugou instead of her.  You could have spared her all of the trauma that she's facing now if you were the one that killed Sugou.  I know you've thought that, at least, once!"

"Of course I have so shut the fuck up!" I yelled, not being able to take any more of what POH was saying.

"Of course, I wish I was the one that killed that bastard, Sugou, instead of Asuna.  I wish that every single fucking day of my life!  I know...I know that would have spared her all of the trauma that she's going through, right now. But...but there's nothing that I can do about that.  No matter how much I wish there was! I...I...I do think about the lives I've taken!  All of the fucking time!  I have nightmares about them, constantly!  I...I know they had family and lives of their own and that I took their futures away.  I...I'm aware that I'll never know for sure, who exactly the people were that I killed back in SAO.  I'll never know if they were always bad...or if it was you, who caused them to be that way.  The lives I've taken...haunt me every single fucking day of my life and, more than anything, I wish that they would go away!"