Hal - The Duellist #1

Chapter Thirty-Five: Blackmail

"What are you doing?" he asked, his voice now betraying desperation.

"Leaving."

"By the Emperor's own eyes, Hal, that old horse will die beneath you if you ride it now. And you – where do you think you're going anyway? I just told you that you won't get to Dal Reniac without my help."

She whirled around to face him. "And since when have I needed your help? Where were you, Franc, when Cara was making my childhood a misery?" She slapped the palm of her hand down on the desk in rage. "Where were you when I decided to leave the court? Or when my enemies had me beaten? Where? I'll tell you where: you were here, saving your own reputation instead."

"Your enemies did what?" He started suddenly.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter. It was obviously no concern of yours."

Franc's lips trembled and his eyes grew wider and wilder than before. "And what do you know of it?" He burst out at last. "You have no idea what happened – who I am, or who you are for that matter. I'm not going to beg you to stay, Hal. But just remember one thing – this could be your last chance to find out the truth and if you turn your back on me now, you'll be living in ignorance for the rest of your life."

From somewhere, buried in the deepest of her thoughts, a voice told her that he was right. If she left now, stumbling out into the autumn night, she would not return. Whatever happened – whether she succeeded in finding Meracad or not, if they both ended up on the run, evading Nérac, Léac or Cara, she would have no chance of recovering that knowledge. Her life would remain a mystery, both to herself and to those around her. Dragging the back of her sleeve across her eyes, she gasped, as if his words had knocked the wind out of her. "Will I feel better if you tell me?"

"Maybe not. But at least you'll know the truth."

Reluctantly, she lowered herself back into the chair. "Tell me then," she said at last.

"I fell in love with Cara when we met at court. I was naive. I took our affection to be mutual. I should have known better. The Thæc family had squandered their fortunes over the years, and were penniless by the time she met me. They got by simply through blackmailing or toadying up to other aristocrats. Cara was no exception. What I took to be declarations of love were meaningless – she was in love with my money."

Hal shook her head in anger, but Franc continued: "I even hoped we would marry, and she led me to believe it, but a short time after I'd met her, I discovered that she already had another lover. I was furious, my illusions shattered. I told her that I would denounce her to the court as a whore."

He paused for a moment. Clearly, after so many years, he still found the memory of that betrayal painful. Clearing his throat, he continued: "I'll never forget what she said to me then, or the way in which she said it. 'Denounce me, and I'll kill the child I'm carrying. It's yours."'

"How did you know I was your child?"

"I wasn't certain, but I didn't want to take the risk. And to be honest, with every year that's passed, I've realised that you are my daughter. Look at yourself, girl; you are Hannac through and through. Why, even that knave Arec noticed it on your arrival here. And why do you think Cara has the power to continue to despise you? It's not just that you remind her of her fall from grace. She knows that you're my child. It's not just you she hates, Hal. It's me. She hates me through you."

Hal thought about this for a few minutes. He was right. Physically, they were similar; the same tall, sinuous physique, jet black hair and blue eyes. Even, she felt uncomfortably, the same mannerisms and habits – his semi-reclusive lifestyle, her inability to accept help when it was offered to her. How was it possible that she had never noticed it before?

"Anyway," Franc continued, "I knew she was perfectly capable of carrying out her threat. An illegitimate child would destroy her reputation at court entirely. I asked her to offer you to the court anonymously as a ward. In return, I appealed to the only thing I knew she would listen to: her avarice. I told her that I would provide not only for you at court, but for her too, as long as she agreed that you would stay alive, and..." his voice trailed off.

Hal instinctively realised that there was something more he didn't want to admit. "You promised to tell me the truth, Franc."

"You're right," he admitted. "But this is where my own shame causes me to hesitate. I arranged for her to give birth far away from Colvé in seclusion. Then I paid her money to keep her quiet. I didn't want anyone to know who your parents were."

Hal hissed in fury. "Why not?"

"I was young, Hal, an aristocrat, also with a future before me at court. And I couldn't afford any scandal. My mind was in turmoil – I wasn't thinking clearly. It was my moment of weakness."

"And you never found the courage to tell me or anyone else, later?" She could not keep the scathing note from her voice.

"It became more difficult, with every passing year – I realised what your reaction would be and I decided that the role of friend was safer than that of father. As you know, the old woman who brought you to the court – she was the midwife who delivered you – she knew nothing about me. But she had a loose tongue, and well...when the court found out about Cara, she couldn't do anything. If she denounced me, she would be admitting that you were our daughter. And so she preferred to persuade people that she had nothing to do with you."

"And you let her." A pulsing shot of madness coursed through her veins once more.

"I told you, the longer it went on, the harder it became to tell you – I knew you liked me, and I was terrified with the idea of losing what relationship we had."

"But you bought the court's silence – and Cara's!"

"And in doing so, saved your life!" Tears now streamed, unchecked, down his face. "Look, Hal, I made some mistakes. Don't think that I haven't suffered for them over the years. And I know that I can't bring back the time I lost as your father. But if you give me a chance, I'll be here for you now, and in the future."

Hal shook her head. "I don't know, Franc."

"I ask only one thing. Stay here for the night. Stay here, and think about what I've told you. If, tomorrow, you still want to leave, I won't try to stop you. But if you choose to stay, I'll declare you to the court as my daughter. There'll be no more lies, Hal, and you'll be under the protection of the Hannac name for the rest of your life."

"I have to think."

"Very well. So you'll stay the night at least?" His plea was almost pathetic. She fought back a slight wave of disgust.

"Yes."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. Rising, she picked up the parchment which lay on the table and tore it in two. Then she left the room, slamming the door behind her.