The Outlaw

01

For the most part of my life, I had very little to none luxuries in my life so I gratefully appreciated what I had. I was in college, had a steady-shitty but I was working on it-job and a roof over my head. A few years ago, I was lucky to have just one of those.

Feeling very sentimental, I dramatically twirled into the apartment, sighing heavily with, "Oh, it's good to be home." I pivoted on my heel into the direction of the living room, immediately cringing once I registered the couple on the couch. "Yikes," I muttered under my breath.

Cameron chuckled, detangling himself from the blonde he was wrapped around. It wasn't inappropriate, but intimate nonetheless. "Good to see you, too." He winked. "I'm guessing you just came from Travis'?"

I shrugged sheepishly, cheeks flaming red. "Hi," I outstretched my hand to his friend. "I'm Madeline but everyone calls me Maddie."

"Talia," she returned. She was about my height of five-four with radiant blue eyes. I smiled, arching an eyebrow at Cam because as cosy as they were, he never mentioned anything about a lady friend and we shared everything. "I've got to get going actually but it was nice to meet you."

While Cameron showed her out, I dropped my purse onto the couch and walked to the kitchen for a bottle of water.

Cameron Shaw was my brother. Well, foster brother.

My father died of heart attack when I was just nine years old. With a mother who abandoned both of us and no other family, I was thrown into the lovely system of foster care. Thereon started the string of homes I bounced from, each one ephemeral and worse than the last. I was twelve the day I showed up in the family Cameron was being fostered by, where he'd turned sixteen. Despite the abuse we'd encountered, Cameron and I got on well. We became extremely close; so much so that once he'd turned eighteen—and he'd saved enough to stand on his two feet—he didn't even think twice to take me with him. And after I'd finished high school, we decided to pack up, leave the past behind and move to Indiana. I wouldn't be nowhere near where I was if it weren't for him. I owed Cameron Shaw my life.

"You have some 'splainin' to do." I said to Cam, crossing my arms. Slim build, dark-haired with icy blue eyes, you would never be able to tell how vulnerable I knew Cam really was. Despite the abstinence of nurturing from parents, Cameron was the epitome of gentlemen—way more mature than most twenty-four year olds out there.

He brushed past me and opened the refrigerator, hiding behind the door. "I don't know what you mean." He feigned confusion.

I threw a punch to his arm, which I doubt he'd felt. "Bullshit. I told you about Travis and me." With shame and embarrassment but Cameron never judged—he understood. "How come you never said anything about Talia?"

He popped his head around and lifted a shoulder half-heartedly. "I met her about a week ago at the garage. Helped her with a flat tire and we ended up switching up numbers. No big deal."

I rolled my eyes. "If you say so, Cam. It looked like a big deal to me. Do you like her?"

He took out the goods to make some tacos-being the better chef between the two of us-and closed the door with his hip. "She's cool, real funny, and smart. We'll see where it goes."

"Well, I'm happy for you." I leaned against him, resting my head on his broad shoulder. "About time you find someone to take care of you."

He left a light kiss on my temple. "I have you, silly, I don't need anyone else."

*

I walked into my bedroom to find my bed preoccupied. Having been through the same situation multiple times before, I inwardly laughed at the sight of the curly auburn tresses fanned across my pillow, and long, lean feet sticking out of the foot of the bed.

"What did he do this time?" I asked Scarlett.

My best friend let out a frustrating huff, blinking up at the ceiling. After we were introduced by a mutual friend at freshman orientation, we've been stuck to the hip ever since. She was the complete opposite of me—unpredictable and a rebel of the worst kind but somehow we clicked.

I wasn't surprised about her sudden visit, with no call or text. Whenever she had a fight with her boyfriend of one year—Oliver—she'd come straight here. At this point, I'd just given her a key.

"You know Jess from Ollie's Bio class? Redhead, fake boobs, a huge slut?" She gritted.

I frowned at her poor choice of words but let it slide anyway. "No," I answered when she paused, figuring she wanted a reply.

Either way—whether or not I knew this Jess, it wasn't important because she forged on with, "Yeah, well Ollie and I were studying but his phone was blowing up. So I yanked it out of his hands to see him texting her! Right in front of me." She puffed as if she couldn't believe it.

My lips twisted wryly. Scarlett tended to exaggerate more often than not. "What were they texting about?" I asked while I stripped out of my clothes so I could get ready for bed.

Her honey-coloured eyes slit to me. She waited a beat before she said, "About exchanging notes." She confessed and then quickly added, "But I knew what she really meant and it wasn't exchanging notes. Maybe bodily fluids." Scarlett muttered.

I snorted. "Okay, first, gross. Second, maybe it actually was just a friendly conversation, Scar." I offered, throwing on some boy shorts and a tank top.

"Yeah, well, I have half a mind to strangle him while he's sleeping. So if I get caught, I'm telling them you were an accomplice. That's 2 to 5 years minimum."

I wasn't sure if she was kidding or not. "Well then."

"So since you won't spill any details about your sexcapades with Travis," Scarlett waited for me to return from my en-suite, "you could at least hint if he's any good?"

If only she knew. I laughed, answering vaguely, "He gets the job done."

She arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "I bet he does."

Shaking my head, I chucked her some clothes she'd feel more comfortable sleeping in. Judging by the way she cocooned into my bed, she obviously planned to spend the night.

I settled in next to her, poking the chin dimple she had. "Get ready for bed, Scar."

"Can't." She snuggled closer to me, closing her eyes. "Too tired."

"Five minutes ago you were ready to put Ollie in a grave and now you can't be bothered to brush your teeth?" She even kept her own toothbrush in my holder.

She didn't answer. Instead she smiled with teeth and then said, "Goodnight, Maddie. Love you."

If I were a normal person or friend, I'd return the declaration that Scarlett confessed with ease. With the exception of Cameron, I'd learned to detach myself from people because in the long haul—even as it were selfish on my part-that meant there was less chance of getting hurt. Though, I might not have wanted to care about Scarlett, I did.

That presented the problem. As soon as I started caring was when I'd put my heart out on the line. Those pesky little words didn't guarantee anything. I'd said them to my father, I still lost him. I'd said them to ex-boyfriends; that didn't stop them from leaving.

I could have said it back; I wanted to but uncaringly, I thought of my own self-preservation first. That way, when it came to separating ways, I'd convince myself Scarlett and I were never really close so losing her would hurt a little less. Deep down, I knew that wasn't true.

That was why I initiated casual sex with Travis. I could handle needing him physically—but no more than that. I thought way too much about the future and what it could take, that it ultimately scared me.

I recognized my analogy sounded ludicrous but just like every other issue I had; I shoved it under a rug to deal with later. Ironically... that came sooner than I thought.