I sit on the grass watching the one swan slowly float above the pond water. I smile softly just enjoying the breathe of fresh air I finally get to enjoy.
My third year of university is done. From Boston back to Seattle for the summer. I haven't been here since my brothers deaths. I could of easily gave up then. Yet that's not what they would have wanted. My twenty first birthday and for the first time I'm enjoying it. Although it's about to end taking into fact it's almost midnight.
I love Seattle. I always will. I thought I'd love Boston. But I hate it.
I stand up and decide it's time to take my leave. I make my way to my car and drive home. The home I grew up in. I don't want to sell it. Either way I'll be moving into my own place as soon as I'm done with the transfer stuff. Boston was a void, trying to run from the fact that I lost my entire family in a blink of an eye. It's been five years. It's time to unpause . I'm happy I've finally came to terms with it. I never had many people to cry to. I've always been to myself. I have friends I can go out with but u don't think I've ever really felt a true sisterly friendship with anyone . My life had always been family orientated and so put together.
And now it's just. A puzzle. And it's taking a little too long to come together.
I drive through the busy streets and into the main rode. I keep driving till there's more silence and more houses. I park on the street and step out.
"Diana?" I hear my name. Only when I'm putting the key into the lock. The voice is distant and I can hear footsteps. Then s cool breathe.
I suddenly stop breathing realizing I recognize that smell and can feel his height towering over me.
"Diana." He repeats. This time softer. I turn around trying not to look puzzled or intimidated. I try acting like i never knew this man in my life. I did it pretty well for the past two years. But I still have the same emotions since I was seven.
He stares at me and I stare at him.
This encounter I knew would happen. I tried avoiding it. I knew he comes home during the summer for his family. His nieces, nephews, cousins everything. After all they are down the street . Literally. Yet it's been a month that I've been back and honestly I thought he wasn't here for a moment. And honestly I was glad. I don't need more reminders or my past.
His eyes go down to my neck. I feel his eyes tracing the gold that hangs around my neck. The same necklace he so politely gave me on my twelfth birthday. A swan. I was so obsessed with swans. But more obsessed with him.
"August" Augustine Marcelo .
His eyes come back up to me. My eyes look down. Not like that because I realize he's holding a gold box. With white and silver ribbon. So neat. I shake my head not wanting it.
"I didn't know you were in town. It's last minute, I just landed last night. I didn't think you would come back but I—it felt right." He's talking more then usual. I'm silent more then usual.
I don't want to talk to him. Or look at him. So I simply take the box and turn around finishing what I can here to do.
Go home.
Maybe once I thought he was my home. But he was just like my brother. Entitled and egotistic. Chasing nothing more the money. Probably why they were best friends. At least my brother, Raymond actually still cared.
I kind of expect him to say something as I close the door in his face but he doesn't. And like that I'm left alone in an empty four bedroom house.
I remove the ribbon and open the box. There's a card. I open it first reading what's inside.
Happy twenty , Once dance tomorrow?
I roll my eyes and put the card to the side knowing he's talking about his stupid ball parties. He only hosts them for business and to keep his workers? Clients and everyone else happy. I guess running a marketing business isn't easy.
My heart starts to slow picking up the white fabric. Odd color but it's always been my favorite. It's simple and pure. It's long and silky, It's gorgeous. I place it back down in the box with its card and put it on my dresser to the side.
I wish I felt more. Maybe I'm still coming to terms with everything. I feel so emotionless now a days. I used to be in love with him once. Well that once was basically my entire lifetime. He was everything. Now...now there's just this emptiness.
I feel like a white canvas all over again. Too pretty and healed . Too scared to even let a drop of other paint onto it. August is that paint. The red and black paint that always makes a mess. Later you have to go over so many white coats to cover it.
Truthfully I'm terrified.
Seattle will be my permanent home again. I should make amends with everything and everyone. I kind of been in hiding. The only light I turn on at this house is the kitchen or my room. Even then the curtains block everything out.
I take a deep breathe and go into bed. Tomorrow I'll go to the ball. Give his dance and act like it's okay. I'm going to have to take this entire thing till I make it.
