The Question

The Question, part 3

- Would you tell me what happend? - I quickly straightened to look at him again.

- Man, don't do this to me. Why do you want to... - but his words cut off the instant our eyes met. 

He probably sensed something, or realized something, which sent a chill down my spine, but at this point there was no going back, I had to go all the way till the end.

- Please - I added.

- *sigh* Fine, but after I finish you have to tell me what is going on with you.

I simply nodded, prepping my mind to catch as many details as possible.

- Okay then, where should I start...

- Well, when did you know you wanted to marry her? And how did you decide it was a good time to do it?

- I don't know why do you care so much about those embarrassing things, but since you asked... - he cleared his throat one last time.

'As for your first question, I felt she was special from the first moment I saw her, and after some more time I knew I wanted to be with her for a long, long time. Of course I couldn't marry her when we had barely met, so we dated for some time, which only reassured my decision'

As he talked, my mind began to split in two parts: one was paying attention to Agil, while the other started drifting away following my own train of thoughts.

- As for your second question, I had been considering it for a while at that point, and the only thing holding me back was actually myself. I was afraid that I might scare her away, or that she might not be ready, or another million possible things that were driving me nuts, but then I realized that every day I spent without doing it, it was one more day that I couldn't call Trish my wife. So, after a lot of overthinking and a braindamaging internal fight, I made up my mind. I bought the ring and planned everything to the tiniest detail: I would take her to the lake where we had our first date, we would have a nice pic-nic, we would set up a tent and I would pop the question under the beautiful night sky... But of course, everything went south'

I couldn't stop myself from tensing and loudly swallowing dry saliva as Agil explained his most fatidical day.

- As we arrived to the lake, a storm came out of nowhere ruining the pic-nic. We tried to set up the tent but somehow the fabric ripped open and it was now totally unusable, so we had to get in the car as we watched out food and shelter get blown away and, since the sky was covered with solid grey clouds, there wasn't a single start to bee seen. I thought it couldn't get worse than that, but to top it all, when I tried to reach for the ring in my pocket, the thing wasn't there. I started to freak out, looking through the car windows to see  if I could catch a glimpse of the box laying somewhere, but for my surprise, when I turned to look at Trish for a second, the little box was resting on her palm, an amussed smile on her face 'looking for this?' She simply said and I knew it was over. There was no way back from that. I sighed in defeat and was ready to leave when she started giggling which left me half surprised and half angry 'You know you can't run away, right? I'm in the car with you' she teased and I didn't know how else to hide my embarrassment. 'Does it even matter? I ruined it. Big time' I said as sadness started to take over me, but for my surprise, Trish let out a sigh and gave me a warm kiss, melting away all of my doubts. 'I already knew what you were trying to do, and I was ready to say yes even before the day started. So what if it didn't come as planed? You are still here, and so am I, and that's all that matters' she said laying the little cube on my hand, and extending his own, spreading her fingers just enough for me to do what I was supposed to do... And you can figure out the rest by yourself - Agil finished his story gulping down his third (or fourth?) glass of the night.

I couldn't say a word. My gaze was frozen, stuck on my own glass of whisky as I tried to fight against the chilling sensation growing inside of me. I'd been afraid a lot of times in my life since Aincrad happened, but neither of those times could compare to what I was feeling right now. It was fear of failure, but different. All those times, failure only meant to lose my life. This time, failure meant losing something a hundred times more important. 

- to... irito... Kirito! 

I snapped out of my trance, as Agil was calling me from the side, shaking me a little.

- Uh? Yes... Sorry... I just... - I couldn't even formulate a word.

- I've never seen that expression on you, not even against The Skull Reaper in Aincrad. Seriously man, what's gotten into you? First you send me that cryptical message about some 'Important' matter, then you show interest in my marriage and specially in my proposal, and now you have that expression on your face as if... as if... - his hard tone suddenly softened as his eyes gradualy opened with every word he said - Oi oi oi... Kirito... Don't tell me that....

I knew he had figured it out by know, so there was no point on keep hiding it. I gathered all of my willpower (with some help of the alcohol running in my system too), adopted the most determined expression I'd ever had and looked at Agil's dumbfolded and expectant face as I said the words that had been occupying my mind for months now, but hadn't yet verbalized:

- That's right. I want to ask Asuna to marry me.