Careless Words

Confused mind

The group had another concert three weeks later so had been practicing hard, they were due to go for a fitting of their outfits.
Slipping on the ones for the first set Jimin felt his were loose.
"I think someone took the wrong size?"
The person in charge came over with the file that recorded their sizes.
"Hum, yes it's not a good fit we will have to alter it,"
They measured Jimin again, "your two inches less around the waist and your other measurements are less too?"
"Really?"
In the end all of Jimins outfits had to be altered while everyone else's were fine.
"Come back tomorrow, we need to get these right."
"I will thank sorry for making you work harder."
"Jimin? You are eating properly aren't you, I don't think you have sat down much with us for a meal," Jin said worriedly .
"Sure I am, anyway if I wasn't it's not like I don't need to lose weight is it, I haven't exactly got the build people like ,so a few pound lost would be ok," he shrugged, trying to sound like he wasn't lying, he'd put himself in the strictest of diets, pretending to everyone that he was eating ok.
"In that case you can come sit down and eat with us when we get back."
"But I was gonna......"
"Eat with us..." Jin reiterated in a stern voice the one he used when he meant business .
"Fine," Jimin muttered
Jungkook had listened to the conversation . He had noticed a marked difference in Jimin. Not only did he not come near him unless he really had to but he spent hours, practising or going to the Gym. His eyes had lost that spark that made him look cute, hang on, cute? Hadn't he said how much he disliked that? Why did he now think differently. He looked at Jimin...., really looked, saw the fingers twisting together nervously, saw he'd lost weight, how his face had slimmed down , how his lips looked plumper and pouty, what the heck Jungkook? He didn't understand how he was now suddenly noticing all this. He also saw how Jimin hung back in the conversations keeping quiet most of the time.
They got back to the dormitory and Jimin set the table before going to his room, how was he going to get around this and not look suspicious?
Jin called them all and Jimin slowly walked there, the only seat left next to Jungkook.
He sat down putting small amounts in his bowl surreptitiously bring his serviette to his mouth as if dabbing something off, when really he spat the food into it. Hobi suddenly put some more food in Jimins bowl, " your favourite," he said.
Jimin tried not to show how he really didn't want to eat any more, so he ate it up then took his bowl to the sink before going to his room and rushing to the bathroom where he made himself sick. Finally at ease justifying it by telling himself he didn't want to put on weight and make them redo his outfits. He cleaned his teeth , one reason why he pretended to eat was because he hated being sick so it was easier to just not eat.
Jungkook had got up from the table to fetch a book he'd been telling Namjoon about, he passed Jimins room hearing a faint sound, was Jimin sick? About to knock on the door it swung open, Jimin jumping when he saw Jungkook there.
"Are you ok? We're you being sick?"
"What...? Oh no I was cleaning my teeth some food got in them."
Jimin purposely looked the other in the face, so he wouldn't think he was lying.
"Oh..., ok."
Jungkook went on to his room while Jimin heaved a sigh of relief.
He went and sat on a sofa watching tv, the rest nearby chatting or watching the tv also.
Jimin was lulled by the familiar sounds his eyes slowly closing.
"Hey he's fallen asleep.." RM said.
"Leave him be, he will probably wake up soon." Hobi said.
"Don't you think he looks..fragile?" A worried Jin asked.
"He's small like a little doll that's why he looks cute," a usually silent Suga said then ," I'm going to bed, he makes me feel tired."
"I'm going to play games coming Jin?"
They left, Jungkook and RM discussing the book Jungkook had started reading then Hobi yawning and saying good night.
"It is getting late, I don't like to leave Jimin here he'll get stiff sleeping on there all night, Jimin wake up..."
The small boy didn't stir from his deep sleep.
"Damn..." RM said," I better carry him to his rooom."
"I'll take him, he's near my room your the other way."
"Ok, I'm off then , night"
Jungkook stared at the sleeping boy and sighed why had he offered?
Going to the sofa he prepared to lift him up surprised by how light he was. He carried him easily, his nose sniffing, Jimin always smelt nice. He got to the others room and walked in placing him nearer to his chest as he leaned down to pull the duvet back. Jimin snuggled against him mumbling in his sleep. Jungkook felt a tug in his chest, wow, this was new, he wasn't a virgin and he knew what attraction was, but to a man? He placed Jimin on the bed covering him with the duvet watching as he curled into a ball whimpering ,
"I'm too fat, I'm sorry."
Jungkook  knew he was the cause, he now knew Jimin had heard him call him chubby, why had he done it, he wasn't usually like that about people he accepted them for what they were, so why had he picked on Jimin? He left the room thinking on it,was it because he knew Jimin was gay and he'd been mad at him for always touching him? Or was it because maybe just maybe he liked the attention but didn't want to be labelled?Sighing in confusion he went to his room taking a shower and going to bed, where a hurt Jimin invaded his dreams, and as he went to console him.....
The alarm went off, jungkook turned it off tiredly but pulled himself from his bed deciding to eat first then wash up. Going out his room he passed Jimins open door to see the bed made and no sign of him.
Going to the kitchen he saw Jin and Tae along with Hobi eating there.
"Just cereal ?" Jin asked
"And toast, where's Jimin?"
"Has he gone out again! I know he likes to practice but this is getting ridiculous."
"Maybe because he had to try his outfits on later he's doing his practice now?" Jungkook offered
"Hmmm, maybe?"
The rest trailed into the kitchen eating then getting ready. They got there to find Jimin slouched in a chair staff putting a cool towel across his neck
"I'm fine honestly..."
"You passed out Jimin, now rest!!"
"What's going on? RM asked the  choreographer
"Jimin felt dizzy so we told him to sit down, he insisted on carrying on then passed out!"
Rm strode to the small male.
"Jimin go shower and sit down for a while you've done your practise "
"No I ..."
"I'm not asking you I'm telling you, now shower and sit  down you have to go try and try your outfits again later."
"Oh yer" he got up a bit wobbly ,"oops"
"See?!?
Jimin nodded going to the showers there, he still felt a bit wobbly but washed up and got changed and sat watching the others for a while eventually getting up and going with a staff member who came to tell him the dressers were ready .
Jimin was pleased the clothes fitted him much better maybe just a little more weight loss he thought he returned to the practice studio in  time to see the rest trailing out.
"We are going out to eat " he informed Jimin.
"Oh I wish I knew I've just been to the café and had something to eat. " he lied.
"Oh well you can still come with us can't you maybe not to eat but have a drink or something."
Jimin nodded glad to accompany them now he had an excuse not to eat.
He was unaware of a certain maknae's eyes frowning at him. He had suddenly realised just how many times Jimin had used an excuse like that.
Determined to confront him he sat next to Jimin in the car and while everyone was chatting he turned to Jimin and said," so why don't you eat with us?"
"Oh it just coincides with when I'm out so I get fast food."
"So why the weight loss?"
"Well I suppose the extra work out and practice,"
"You should stop then your getting skinny you weighed nothing when I carried you to your room."
"You carried me? Sorry I'm too heavy for that you should have left me where I was you could have hurt yourself."
"Are you kidding me your too light!"
"It's ok , really you don't have to lie, I know I'm the chubby one in the group...."
About to say something the car stopped, they stepped out walking into an exclusive restaurant .
The rest ordered but Jimin only ordered a drink. Their general chat was interrupted .
"Hey look who it is, hey Jimin long time no see?"
Jimin turned paler than normal and tipped his head down. Tae on the other hand looked angry.
"Sorry can you leave this is a private party for friends,"
"Oh Tae," the other smirked," your here too aren't I a friend, a special friend of Jimins?"
"Get lost asshole." Tae said angrily.
"Well Jimin not going to talk... to your old love?"
Jimin looked shaken but spoke," I don't think we have anything to talk about, you were just the biggest mistake in my life which I regret immensely, you had your fun so leave it where it belongs,in the past."
This seemed to make the other angry," think your too good for me now you slut?"
"You were asked to leave now unless you want trouble I suggest you fuck off," jungkook had stood up and his tone was icy.
The man saw security moving their way and made to go," still the sad pathetic male you always were Jimin I see."
Security got to their table and made sure the man left but Jimin grabbed one of them and asked them to take him back.
"Jimin are you ok you don't have to go because of that jerk,"
"Oh no, no it's fine, I , Erm forgot I was going to call my mum I promised her and I've already eaten anyway,"
He dashed out leaving the rest worried.
"Tae who was that?"
Tae frowned then," that was a bully who pretended to like Jimin, made Jimin like him because he pretended to be friendly, took his virginity and then...., told him he only did it to show Jimin how pathetic he was, so desperate to be liked, he'd cling to anyone. I beat his ass up, do you not remember Jimin being ill and not wanting to come out of his room for three days ?"
  Jungkook could remember, that's when Jimin had started acting like everyone's friend, before he'd obviously been friendly but he became more so , insisting on being the life and soul of the party, it had gone on so long they had all bar Tae forgotten what Jimin was like before.
"Oh fuck...!" He muttered.
"Yer, your words hit home made him feel as worthless as that shit did."
The food came but they were not really into it, the mood had dropped. It was early afternoon so they drove back to the dorm , going inside Hobi said he would just go to see Jimin.
Five minutes later he came out going to the kitchen tears on his face. He picked up some cleaning spray and not saying a word went back to Jimins room, the others followed gasping as they walked in.
The mirror was covered in lipstick.
Fat....
Ugly....
Useless...
Pathetic.....
Pathetic........
Pathetic.........
A photograph in a frame of the seven of them had Jimins face obliterated on it.
"What the hell?" Suga exclaimed, Hobi started cleaning, Tae and Jin helping.
"Where is he....?" Jungkook asked.
"I'll call security," RM said getting on his phone and talking.
A few minutes later..., " he hadn't left the building maybe he's gone to the top floor gym?"
"I'll go , I'm to blame as well so need to make amends,"
"We will sort his room out, go ahead and bring him back soon." RM said.