sh; it started with a cigarette

xi|everything takes time.

I know now that I belong in Hawkins. The supernatural absurdity, the friends I've made, and the family I've built, feel more like home than Miss Pearl's. I'll always miss late-night talks with Ivy and visiting Davis at his vigil. But like Davis always said, "Let go or be dragged." I can't let the cards I was dealt at the beginning of my life drag me through Hell anymore. It only took nearly being eaten by an interdimensional monster to realize it, but this life is worth fighting for.

I enter the graveyard, weaving carefully around tombstones until I reach my destination.

Barbara Holland. September 13, 1967-November 15,1983.

I fight the tears threatening to spill. I kneel on my knees, the frozen ground chilling my legs to the bone. I pull the book out of my jacket and set it nicely on the gravestone.

"Here you go, Barb. I know you really like this one," I say meekly. "I figured you'd like to take it with you."

I sit there for a while, talking to her grave. I tell her how Nancy and Steve got back together, much to Jonathan and I's dismay. I inform her that the four of us kicked that Demogorgon's ass just for her. I update her on my new job at the record store after being fired from the cinema for walking out while on duty. I hated that job anyways. I swear I can hear her laugh echo in my mind. 

It is eventually time to say goodbye, as the sun has fully risen, and I'm expected to be at Nancy's soon. Before I go, I say one final thing to my friend, "Goodbye, Barb. Merry Christmas."

I turn and leave the cemetery before I can change my mind.

≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡≡

I knock on the Wheeler's front door. Nancy answers it, welcoming me inside. I smile and gratefully get out of the cold.

"Why did you walk? We could've picked you up when we got Dustin," Nancy giggles, returning to her spot on the couch with Steve.

"I had something to do before I came," I tell her, shaking my head. She narrows her eyes at me but doesn't respond. "Where are the boys?" I ask.

Nancy nods her head to the stairs. "Downstairs. Careful, I think they might be trying to kill each other with all the noise they're making,"

I laugh. I acknowledge Steve with a polite nod as I walk past them, and he returns it. I only make it a few paces down the hallway before Joyce calls me into the kitchen.

"Y/N! Oh, I'm so happy to see you," she hums, bringing me in for a motherly hug. I grin, squeezing her back. "I was worried you wouldn't come,"

I shake my head. "Wouldn't miss it for the world," I reassure her. "I'm just going to check on the boys. I'll be back up in a bit."

She smiles and nods, shooing me back to the hallway.

I walk down the stairs, making a lot of noise to not scare the kids. Knowing them and how easily they spook, they'll throw something right at my head. I also genuinely care not to accidentally not sneak up on Will. He's been on edge ever since what happened. I can't blame him. When I reach the bottom, I notice Lucas and Will sitting on the couch and Dustin with his back turned to me. Somehow, Dustin is utterly oblivious to my presence as he rants and raves about some new scientific discoveries. Aw, my little nerd.

A devious smile curls my lips, and I motion for Will and Lucas to stay quiet. They play it off well, pretending to listen to Dustin's lecture. I sneak up on my brother.

"And so Pioneer 10 finally passes the orbit of Neptune. How freakin' cool is that?" Dustin rambles obliviously. "That makes it the first man-made object to make it past all major planets in the solar system,"