Tough Love (Book 2)

26. Coming Clean

I was still hungry.

I looked at Karla who stared at me still holding her plate. "Are you... going to eat that?" I asked her.

She looked down at her plate, then smiled. "I'm glad you're eating." She placed her plate in front of me then sat beside me to watch me eat. "You've lost so much weight. Even your tailored suits look loose on you."

"Mmm hmm," was all I could get out with my mouth full.

"You know... I thought about everything we spoke about the last time I was here." I stopped eating and looked at her. "About your mother and all the trauma she's caused you."

I swallowed the food I had in my mouth then looked down at my plate.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I can't imagine what it's like. I won't pretend I understand. I just hope you get the help you need, so that you can at least live with it. I know, our marriage was not real but just know that... I was in love with you. And I married you by choice for that reason."

"Do you still love me?" I asked her.

She was silent for a moment. Probably thinking about it. She then let out a sigh. "Yes Ryan. I do still love you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. I'm just hurt. You hurt me so much throughout our 11 years of marriage.

"You didn't even love me when we got married. You cheated on me with your own mother since day one. Not to mention all those other women. You never spent time with me or your children. You hit me for no reason. So I was hurt."

"I'm sorry," I said looking at her. "I know I made you suffer. Truth is... I didn't even know what love was. My mother's love, was all I wanted and her love was fucked up. It was the love you refused to give me. Thats why I cheated. A lot."

"You confused sex for love?"

"How could I not? It's all I've ever got from my own mother. Thats why I stay away from the children, I thought you were doing a great job raising them, and I didn't wanna ruin that. So I stayed away and let you do that cause I want my kids to be good people, not like me."

"You're not a bad person."

I scoffed, "Have you seen me?"

Karla sighed. "They need a dad though."

"Their dad needs to learn what love is or he's going to hurt them."

Karla groaned raking her hair back with both hands, "This is so confusing. What are we going to do?"

She looked at me. I took her hand and held it with both of mine. "Well... we never really got to know each other before we got married. It was just thrown onto us."

"Yeah... I would like us to get back together, but on better terms."

"How about dinner, tonight? Wherever you want," I offered.

"That would be nice."

"I must warn you though, I have no idea what love is."

"It's ok. I'll show you."

~Zinhle Mpumelelo~

"Breakfast," I sighed, placing a plate in front of Leon.

I put my plate down and sat beside him. I looked at him. He was so deep in thought, he didnt even notice the food. I sat and watched him for a moment.

He sat staring ahead, a blank expression on his face. His right hand rested on his thigh, while he had his left elbow on the table. His left hand held a fidget spinner close to his ear. He occasionally spinned it with his finger.