i did one thing right

15

"I have a schedule in Africa for four days, and Nathan's birthday falls between those four days, so it will be difficult for me to return home."

"Regina, it's your child's birthday... Can't you reschedule it?" I ask, trying not to start anything, but I can't understand why her work has to coincide with her son's birthday.

"I can't... I forgot to notify the organization, and it's just not right to reschedule or withdraw at the last minute," she says. I remained silent for a few seconds, trying to gather my thoughts. I'm upset because I want Regina to be here for her son's first birthday. "Narda," she says softly.

"You still have work, right? You should go, I know you're busy," I said as calmly as I could, but it just came out as giving her a cold shoulder.

"I'll talk to you later, okay? I'm sorry," she said before hanging up the phone.

I'm not good at arguing. I despise arguing with others. If something bothers me, I will simply remain silent until I feel better... I'm well aware that this isn't a good thing, especially from my partner's perspective. I suppose it's just my way of dealing with being upset... I'd rather keep my mouth shut and give the other person the cold shoulder than run my mouth and say hurtful words. As they say, never reply when you're angry, never make a promise when you're happy, and never make a decision when you're sad.

I couldn't stop thinking about our conversation all day. I even had to ask the maid if I could do the laundry just to get my mind off things; thankfully, they agreed. I went upstairs to sleep after finishing the laundry. Mara woke me up around 6 p.m. She said they needed to go home, but they stayed a couple of hours longer just to watch Nathan while I slept. Regina also texted me asking if I could talk, but I couldn't respond because I was sleeping.

"Thank you for bringing Nathan home in one piece," I said as I stood outside the house with Nathan in my arms.

"No problem, we are very nice people," Brian says, causing me to roll my eyes.

"Very smart as well," Mara added.

"But I am the smartest of us," I pointed out.

"False," Ding responded.

"I was about to become a doctor!" I defended myself.

"And why didn't you become one again?" Mara presses me to explain.

"Because I didn't had the confidence... that's all," I said, knowing there was more to it.

"Bestie, we all know that before you even met Regina, during our high school exams, there was a question in our science class about why we have two lungs."

"What is her answer?" Ding investigates.

"Because we also have two nostrils," Mara specified, making me send her death glares.  Ding and Brian, on the other hand, burst out laughing. "Shut up, Brian; your answer was even worse."

"What is it?" Ding asks, holding back his laughter as he waits for the answer.

"He responded with another question, Huh? We have two lungs?" Mara revealed, making me laugh as well.

"That was a joke!" Brian exclaimed, attempting to defend himself. Who the hell will use a joke as an answer in an exam?

"Just leave before I unfriend Mara," I said. They all wave goodbye to Nathan and walk towards Brian's car.

I had to feed Nathan dinner and play with him a little longer before rocking and putting him to bed around 8 p.m. I then mustered the courage to respond to Regina's text. She requested that I FaceTime her. I returned to the bedroom and took out my laptop to call her from there.

"I'm sorry, I was sleeping earlier and only woke up a few hours ago to feed Nathan and put him to sleep," I explained. Based on her background, she is still in her office.

"Is he sleeping now?" she asks, making me nod. "Are you mad at me?" she asks softly and soothingly.

"No," I replied.

"Right.." she squints her eyes as if she doesn't believe me, which made me smile as I shake my head. "Are you ready to tell the truth?" she asks, crossing her arms.

"I'm just a little upset... not mad," I admitted.

"I understand. Narda.. will it be okay if you tell me if something or someone upsets you from now on?" she asks.

"I apologize for giving you the cold shoulder and for not being vocal enough; I know it's a huge mistake when it comes to communication between us."

" No, don't apologize for it. I understand why you're doing it. You don't want to say something that will hurt me, and you also don't want things to escalate if I get angry about it. It's as if I'm aware that I get angry very easily, which is why everyone is afraid of me. Basically, we all have our own personalities that we can't or choose not to change. But understanding each other requires adjusting a little bit so that we can stay afloat. I'm just saying this because I want us to talk about it. I can't always pick up on your emotions or feelings, so please be honest with me. And I don't want to end the day knowing we didn't talk about it and make up."

"I'm sorry once more," I said, making Regina shake her head.

"It's fine.. now let me hear your thoughts before I explain my side fully," Regina says.

"Well, it is Nathan's first birthday after all. I just don't understand why you will prioritize your work. It's only a day.. is that really so much time?" I ask her.

"Okay.. hear me out," she said calmly, "I will be in Africa for those 4 days. We will be going off-grid and it is very difficult to go to that location because it is very far from the city. I have been in partnership with an organization since I started the company. Basically what I am going to do there isn't necessarily all work related... It is Philanthropy work. When I first started all of this, I thought to myself, 'Why shouldn't I just give my money and let employees do all of the work?' We provide people with electricity, food, clean water, and hygiene. When I gave birth to Nathan, I thought to myself, 'There are kids out there younger and older than Nathan who can barely consume any food at that young age.' Narda, you are one of the nicest people I know. I'm confident you'll understand where I'm coming from. I can't just reschedule this philanthropic work, as much as I'd like to be there for Nathan's birthday. Look, we can easily buy Nathan a cake, tons of food, and tons of presents for his birthday. That same day that I choose to reschedule things, those children around the same age as my baby will not even be able to drink clean water. " I'm not sure why Regina statement didn't come across as 'I want you to feel bad for being upset with me,' it's just purely opening up my mind to another family who are less fortunate. " I admit that it was my fault for forgetting to notify the organization that I'm unavailable on that date. But I'll make sure to return home after those four days and spend the rest of Nathan's birthday with you two. Nathan, on the other hand, has his mama on his side." She said, smiling at me.

"Would you please just look after yourself while you're out there?  So Nathan and I can join you on your philanthropic work in the future," I said, widening her smile.

"If there's one to get lost in some forest or mountain, I'll make sure it's Ali and not me," she said, making me laugh as she let out a small chuckle of her own. "I still intend to come home to you. I still plan on marrying you officially."