the longer we stood there, the worse my headache got. when we got in the uber, my head went from warm to hot. i winced. i've eaten today, drank water. i don't know what's going on.
unless...
i usually get headaches like this when something bad is about to happen. they consuming, and they make me feel sick. i got headaches like this a day before my grandfather died. my mother calls them premonitions, and she thinks i'm a "clairvoyant". but i don't... really believe in that stuff.
but that could explain why jay asked me to hang out out on a whim. what if he's planning something? i shouldn't put it past him?
but... he's my brother. and daddy was right, it's never too late to try and change.
i looked at jay, who was sitting to my side in the uber. he noticed me staring and looked at me, then looked away. yeah, i'm just tripping.
jay wouldn't put me in harm's way.
___________________________
we got to... wherever we were going. these apartments look kinda shabby and ran down. but i didn't say anything as jay led me to an apartment door. he knocked and we heard a shuffle and somebody walking. the door opened, revealing a brown skinned man, with locs, hooded eyes, large nose, and supple lips.
he was handsome.
he dapped my brother up, then moved out the way so we could enter. he smiled at me, but i don't really know how to interact with guys. i kind of... mean mugged him? i instantly regretted it. but he looked indifferent to it, so i didn't feel too bad. jay sat on the couch and i took a seat next to him. i pulled out my phone and started scrolling through facebook.
he sat on a chair that matched the couch. he looked at me and spoke. "wassup, ma." i froze up. his voice is nice too. now, i'm even more nervous to talk to him. i didn't want to be rude though, so i said hi and went back to scrolling. it wasn't long before he spoke again. "tell me about yourself. jay said you graduated from college not too long ago."
that caught me off guard. i'd never suspect jay to talk about me. i always thought it bothered him when dad or our grandparents mentioned anything relating to me and academics. jay wasn't a good student for most of his school career. he didn't get any scholarships for college so he made the decision not no go, against dad and eva's wishes. i took dual enrollment in high school, so i graduated with my associates degree and my high school diploma. then i went to a CUNY school, which allowed me to graduate with my bachelors in two years.
"i'm caradonna, but you can call me cara, or donna. it doesn't really matter. and yeah i graduated from college this past winter. i double majored so i have a degree in psychology and biology."
he nodded and spoke again. "that's raw, shorty. i know your people proud, fo sho."
and they were. mommy was over the moon. daddy talked about it to anyone who would listen. both sets of grandparents made it such a big deal within the families. but jay...
he didn't even congratulate me. i sent an invitation for my graduation and he left me on read.
i tried not to let it bother me but i just wanted jay to at least like me. some days, it still feels like he never got over eva and dad splitting up. it feels like he blames me. i nodded at jay's friend and went back to looking at my phone.
My Blood
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