Unappreciated Academy

Unappreciated Academy: The John F. Cena Story

The following is a story of how I died, it includes graphic content, such as vivid descriptions of a murder.

So there I was, naked in the middle of the desert, with no food and little water, stranded... Let's rewind a bit, My name is John F. Cena, I *was* a struggling, yet talented writer with not a single dollar to my name. I finally got my big break when I found a TV advertisement saying I could get my start writing if I just sent my first draft of my book into their office headquartered in Rhode Island. I sent it in immediately, awaiting a response. After 27 days, 13 hours, 27 minutes, and 13 seconds, they replied with an email. "Your book is easily the greatest work of art west of the Mississippi!" I lived east of the New York, but that didn't bother me. Anyways, they decided to publish my book under the title "Unappreciated Academy" telling the story of my life and how I went unappreciated, until now.

The book was a huge success, selling out overnight, it was so big, even the ebooks were sold out! I was an overnight sensation, and now the best-selling author of all time, however, none of it would last. I woke up one evening to a disturbing message written on my wall in blood, it read: "Yo yo, don't step on our territory yo", it was signed by the authors, J. K. Rowling, J. R. R. Tolkien, and Ernest Hemingway. I knew I was in big trouble after that, so I skipped town, and moved to a desert where I could live in complete privacy. Little did I know, that's just what they were expecting. One afternoon, I woke up to the smell of smoke, turns out, the authors burned my house down! Since it was in the desert, and everything was so dry, it all burned like crazy. I evacuated quickly, however, I caught fire and all my clothes burned off. To make matters worse, all of my supplies were destroyed in the fire. So that's where we left off, I'm naked, hungry, and thirsty, stranded in a desert. Luckily, Paul McCartney came to the rescue, he carried me like a baby all the way to the *now dead* Queen's house, Queen as in Freddie Mercury. There I layed, preparing for death, when Paul did everything he could to save me. Unfortunately it wasn't enough, and I passed away the very next day. That's the end of my story, John F. Cena's crazy journey with twists, turns, and a love story (...wait). Thanks for reading, I expect you will send this to everyone you know, and post on Reddit to make everyone aware of my story.