Love Sucks Sometimes

Middle School Crush

This happened in 7th grade, met this guy in science class. Sorta. My best girl friend's locker was next to his, so I would often speak to both of them. I found out we had the same class with him when we started walking together to class and joked of stalking each other.

Little thing about my type, I love guys who are tall, has a small chubby stomach, glasses, and funny ass personality. And this guy check all of the list, so imagine my face slowly turn red at times.

Science class was a blessing and a curse. The blessing was that I sat next to him, and the curse is I did bad in that class. I didn't understand the concept of science, and still to this day. Anyways, what we do is we would often write small note but the notes were folded into tiny airplanes. So we would throw each other and stifled at the small jokes inside.

He was cute, mature at times, but cute. Best part, everybody like him as well. He's well known in our grade being a cool guy. No beef with anyone and just chill. I admire that, because our popularity status at the time were drastically different. I was basically an outsider and he was the popular kid, yet he saw me as me. A girl with artsy side with a hint of dorky.

He also complimented my art work when he takes a peek at my sketch book. I was bit embarrassed but it did boost my confidence in drawing. When we see each other in the hallways or at lunch, he would always speak to me, or tease me of my height. But one thing that made me skip a beat the most.

Is when we compare our hand size. Since I'm still on the shorter side, my hands were also short. He was big, and I couldn't forget how his smile made me feel warm. Joking my hand while holding it, I was a mess. A blushing mess.

This is the part I genuinely felt broken inside.

Couple months with him, a rumor was going around that he was moving to a new school. Obviously I was sadden, so I asked if he really is. He was. It felt the world stop for a moment for me. It was slowly hitting me that this loving fantasy world that I pictured in my mind was fading. He was leaving.

So on his last day, I decided to write a small airplane note to him. A note that contains my feelings. A simple, 'I like you', inside. I was about to confess to him but since he was popular among classmates, everybody was swarming him to prevent him from leaving. His friends, peers, even girls were trying to stop him to going on the bus.

I just stare at him from the distance and was giving a reminder of where I stand in the social status latter. I glance the note in my hands and back to him and his group. With a heavy, and I mean heavy, sigh and threw the note in the trash and walked home.

I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to him. Let's just say, I wasn't my joyful self for like a week. It was that bad.

How is he now? Well, I don't know much but I do remember seeing a picture of him with his friends. I think he has a girlfriend now, but I don't mind it. We've both grown into adults. Unfortunately, we don't talk. I wish we do, I wish we could laugh at the same jokes again like old times. I hope he's doing well.

And he was my middle school crush.