Gargamel x joe biden

summoning neil cicierega🤗😱

*this chapter is also from gargamel pov because yk joe is unconscious*

Ok. All I needed to do was remove his tonsil before the minion exploded. I knew how to do this!! I was going to get nick Nelson to help but he was meeting up with his new wife Charlie spring.  I got baking soda, lemon, and cocaine and arranged them in a pentegram shape. Then the lemon demon portal opened. It was a roaring red and yellow disaster and I stepped into it, hauling my husband's nearly lifeless body behind me. I was going to need to find a really cool wig and an ancient potato masher in the lemon demon portal. The potato mashers are good for surgically removing tonsils but are nearly impossible to find after the furry war in 69420. I drove two trucks over to neil cicierega's house and asked if he had a really cool wig. he got really annoyed and then challenged me to a knife fight, except he accidentally gave me a potato masher instead of a knife so I ran out of lemon demon land, very happy. I was very tired. I couldn't use the two trucks because they were busy doing automobile stuff if yk what I mean. We all watched the minion PERISH as I saved my amazing American husband 😍😍😍😍 

Once joe biden awoke I embracd him. We went over to the despicable execrable smurfs layer and interrogated them. Apparently drug dealer papa smurf teamed with the fucking minions just to kill joe biden!!!!! Joe ran them over with the two trucks 🌺❤❤❤