The Spirit of the Corps » Band of Brothers

108: When You'll Know

At this, finally, Chuck managed a smile. "Me too, Charlie," he told her, squinting to look up at her through the slanting sunlight. "It..." He sighed. "It's been an honour."

This, above all else, brought tears to her eyes. "You too," she said, floored, not knowing what else to say.

The driver booted up the engine and Charlie squeezed Chuck's shoulder before stepping back from the jeep. She came to stand with the other nurses, behind Floyd so that he might say a final goodbye to the last of his best friends in peace, before, finally, the jeep began to drive away.

Each of them shouted their own unique goodbye to him and soon after Chuck was gone, disappearing around a corner, at the beginning of the journey which would finally take him home.

The next morning, Charlie entered the field hospital feeling the loss of Chuck stronger than ever. She was so used to her routine of going to sit with him in the local hospital that it felt wrong to simply head down to the hotel basement.

Mabs, noticing, gave her a smile as they met in the doorway. "It'll be okay," she said quietly, though she looked like she was struggling just as much as Charlie was.

Charlie nodded. "I know."

They didn't speak for a while, simply went about their tidying and inventory duties, until Charlie decided she'd had enough of living in her own head for a while. Wordlessly, she leaned her broom against the wall and sat on one of the beds. "Mabs," she began.

Mabs turned to her in surprise. But she recovered quickly, smiling and sitting on the bed beside Charlie's, facing her.

"What will you do after the war?" Charlie wondered. "After we come home from the Pacific?"

Though Mabs was smiling, there was uncertainty in her eyes. "I'm not sure." She sighed. "But Texas and New Hampshire are awfully far from each other."

This was, naturally, what Charlie had been worrying about, too.

"Will you live in Texas?" Charlie asked, picking at a loose thread on her left sleeve.

Mabs shrugged, but not easily; she looked as though she was carrying heavy weights on both of her shoulders which she had to struggle against. "I'm not sure," she confessed again. "Maybe. I never lived anywhere else."

"Apart from about a thousand places in Europe," Charlie pointed out.

Mabs gave a small laugh. "Yeah," she relented. "'Part from that."

Charlie hesitated. She breathed in deeply as she worked up the courage to ask what she'd been wondering for a while. "Do you think you'll marry Speirs?"

Mabs didn't reply for a beat. Her eyes were troubled. A moment later, her shoulders slumped and she gave a half-hearted smile. "He's gonna stay in the military for a while, even after the Pacific," she replied at length. "Don't think he'll be stateside for a while."

Charlie's eyebrows hopped up but she supposed this wasn't all that surprising; she may not have been Speirs' biggest fan but he did seem to have a flair for all things military. Then again, so did Floyd, and she'd never gotten the impression he intended to stay in the military beyond the war.

"Oh, Mabs," Charlie said with a shake of her head, her lips tugging downwards into a frown. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be." Mabs brushed her away with a noncommittal gesture of her hand. "'S not like we were ever gonna get married or nothin'."

"Why not?"

Mabs looked away. "I'm not sure... I just..." She paused, collected her thoughts, and then sighed once more. "I don't think we're in love."

Charlie's eyebrows furrowed. She shifted in place on the bed. "You don't?"

"I mean, if I'm even askin' myself that then we must not be, right?" Mabs let her eyes rest on a blank patch of the white wall to her left. "I don't know."

Charlie stayed quiet for a while until, eventually, she stood from the bed and came to sit beside Mabs. Gently, she took Mabs' hand and gave it a squeeze. "A very, very wise friend of mine once told me to wait for true love. She said that it'll come, and that you know it when it does."

Mabs laughed quietly, a sad, tinkling little sound. "Wise friend," she acknowledged.

"Very," Charlie agreed. "Speaking from experience, when you know you know. It would be impossible to miss it. There'll be no question and no doubt, but maybe just a little bit of resentment. If you're anything like me, the only question will be, 'Really? Him?' And the only answer to that will be, 'Who else?'"

Mabs looked at her sidelong for a moment. Half of her face was illuminated by warm light from the lamp beside her, lit up to compensate for the lack of windows in the basement. The blonde of her hair was bright gold.

Looking back at her, Charlie found it impossible to believe there wouldn't come along a person who loved Mabs so fiercely they could hardly bear it. There was so much to love about her. Charlie herself loved Mabs so much she couldn't imagine what her life back home would look like without her in it everyday.

"Someone will come, Mabs," Charlie promised quietly, sincerely. "And he'll love you so desperately there won't be a single doubt in your mind whether it's right. And you'll love him back so desperately you'll feel like you're about to burst. And I really, really hope you don't let yourself settle before you find him."

Mabs remained silent and motionless for a long moment. And then, at long last, she cracked a smile. "When did you become so wise?" she asked, nudging Charlie in the side playfully.

Charlie grinned back at her and shrugged one shoulder. "I suppose we've got the war to blame for that."

"I suppose we have," Mabs agreed solemnly. Suddenly, her arms were around Charlie, and she crushed her to her side. "Promise me there won't ever be a day in our whole lives where we don't talk," she mumbled into Charlie's hair, squeezing her tightly.

"I promise," Charlie said, and the words came as easily as breathing. When Mabs let her go Charlie stared at her for a moment, overwhelmed with the affection she felt for her best friend. "When someone loves you as much as I do," she said, "that's when you'll know he's the one."

Mabs laughed and put her arm around Charlie's shoulders. "I love you too, Charlie, darlin'," she said. "More than you'll ever know."