When Ana confronts her new neighbour after being kept up all night by his sex noises, she's mortified to discover he's none other than Freddie-the police officer who arrested her abusive ex-boyfriend last month.
The pair interact only when necessar...
There's not a single second of silence before she responds. "You should answer the phone like this more often."
I sigh.
"Why do you sound full of regret?" she asks.
"Because I baked him cookies and caught him with another woman."
"Doing what?" she questions, outraged.
I'm glad we're on the same page.
"Talking."
"Talking?"
"Yeah, they were on his doorstep. They were saying goodbye."
"Fucking hell, Ana! He hardly had his cock in her mouth."
I laugh, because even though Helen is my go-to in situations like these, I never can get over the things that come out of her mouth.
"What makes you think it was romantic in any way?"
I shrug, even though she can't see me.
"Anastasia?"
"I don't know," I admit. "It's just a feeling."
She sighs, sounding sad. "I knew this would happen."
"Knew what would happen?" I ask, ready to defend Freddie's honour.
I'm honestly so confused. Part of me dislikes him for hurting me and the other is prepared to fight in his defence.
"That fucker dragged you down and now you're self-sabotaging every good thing coming your way."
"Josh?"
"Yes, Josh," she rages. "Your nan wanted to see him, ya know? I stopped her."
"When?"
I had no idea.
"When the police called to say what had happened."
Unexpected tears form in my eyes.
"She was so angry, Anastasia. So angry."
I blink and they run down my cheeks.
"Believe it or not, I was the calm one in that situation."
I actually can believe it. Helen may be impulsive and sharp, but when the time calls for it, she's rational.
"But do you know what makes me angry now?"
"What?"
"The thought of you throwing away your life because you think you're not good enough."
Why does what she's saying make so much sense?
"Freddie is not being disloyal. Your mind is telling you he is."
"Why?"
"Because that's what years of abuse does to you. It's poison."
I don't argue with her there.
"And if you're not careful, you'll end up alone like me."
"Like you?" I ask, surprised.
She doesn't respond.
"Helen—"
"I'm proud of you, Anastasia," she admits. "You did what I couldn't do. You left."
Oh my God!
"Helen, I had no idea!"
"Of course you didn't. No one knows. Except your nan."
I smile, glad the pair of them have each other to rely on.
"Can you do me a favour though?" she asks.
"Anything!" I tell her.
"Will you continue to make me proud?"
Her question tugs at my stomach. "How do I do that?"
"By being happy."
When I think of happiness, I think of Freddie and Charlotte. I think of lemon cookies and long walks in the forest. I may not be at the end of my journey when it comes to loving myself completely, but the first two things on my list have certainly helped and Helen's right. I'm fucking self-sabotaging.
"I'll try," I tell her, quickly saying my goodbyes before heading towards Freddie's place.
I feel like the world's biggest arsehole and really want to apologise. Unfortunately, there's no answer and I figure they've already left for the park. I contemplate texting him but decide this is a conversation best had face-to-face. Especially with someone like Freddie. He thrives off emotion and I want him to know how sorry I am for overreacting. I want him to be able to see my face when I tell him he's the only man I'm interested in.
Until then, I'll sit in my misery and eat a million lemon cookies.
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Hello, lovely!💕
So much happened in this chapter and I love how the story is unfolding!
Ana is on a journey to find growth, but is it too late? Will Freddie forgive her? Will she be able to communicate her true thoughts to him?
Read Freddie's POV to find out how he feels about Ana saying they can see other people. I have a feeling he's not happy about it! 😈
Speak soon,
Rebecca xo
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