The Neighbour

FIFTEEN

Fuck!

Freddie looks startled and a little embarrassed. The woman he's with—however—simply smiles before walking off. I don't know what to do or say. Is Freddie seeing someone else? We never discussed where we lie with regards to other people and therefore I can't exactly be angry with him. But how can he sleep with me and have another woman around the same day?

"You wanna come in?" he asks, sounding nervous.

I nod, because more than anything I desire an explanation. Still, I don't utter a single word. I'm in shock. I thought Freddie was one of the good ones. I never expected him to do this. I never expected it to hurt this much.

"Is she your friend?" I ask, sounding uncertain.

He shakes his head, then—eyes widening—reaches for my hand and covers it with his own.

"Ana—baby—no!"

I swallow hard, nails digging into the cake tin I'm still stupidly holding. Here I am, baking cookies for the man I had sex with last night while he's inviting other women into his home.

"She's not—that's not—"

"It's okay," I offer. "We're not dating. You're allowed to see other women."

He takes a step back, seemingly shocked. "Is it?"

"Is it what?" I ask, heating up with anger.

"Is it okay if I see other women?"

I shrug.

"Because if I see other women, you can see other men and I don't know if I'm okay with that."

I throw my hands up in frustration, seconds away from throwing the cookies at his head. "How are you turning this around on me right now? You're the one I just caught with another woman."

"Ana—I'm not—"

"And you don't get to tell me what I can and cannot do, Freddie! If I want to see other men, I will!"

I don't even know why I say that other than to prove a point. I have no desire to spend time with any other man who isn't Freddie. I'm simply hurt and embarrassed and this is the only way I know how to save face.

"You want to sleep with other men?" he asks, face contorting.

I shrug. "Maybe?"

He stares at me, hurt. "Am I not enough?"

"Well, clearly I'm not!" I yell, pointing towards his door.

There's suddenly a knock, as though summoned by me gesturing towards it.

"It's only me," comes Nic's chirpy voice, interrupting our argument.

She walks into the living room, and I immediately pull back.

"Are you coming to the park too, Ana?"

I smile at her bright face and shake my head. "I can't. I'm a little busy today."

She returns my smile before facing her brother. "So, I'm stuck with you?"

I don't tell her how lucky she is to be stuck with him. I simply throw out a half arsed goodbye and don't bother looking at him before I leave.

I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid.

I crack open the tin and shove a lemon cookie into my mouth, unashamed of my desperation. It tastes delicious and my petty mind is glad Freddie hasn't had any. I eat another two before I grab my phone and make a call to Helen. Despite being forty years older than me and nan's BFF, I see Helen as an ally. A friend. And she gives the best fucking advice.