What's wrong now Maya?
That same question stuck in my head on a repeat.
It never seems to go away.
There's always something wrong with you.
So what's wrong now Maya?
I don't understand why something always has to be wrong.
Why can't you just be happy?
Why can't you see that I want to be happy?
Why are you crying now?
Why can't you see that I am hurting?
Why can't you just smile?
Why can't you see why I'm not?
Why can't you just be normal for once?
Why can't you see that I don't know how to be anymore?
Why do you have to act the way you do?
Why don't you see you made me this way?
Why aren't you ever satisfied?
Why can't you see I am struggling?
But what if it had been a free space for me to talk and feel comfortable with my feelings.
Are you okay?
....
Are you lost?
....
Are you stuck?
....
Are you sad?
....
Are you depressed?
....
Are you feeling fulfilled?
....
I will never get to know because that's not where I came from.
Always something wrong they said. I was just a kid. Now I'm an adult and don't know what to do.
How do I feel? How do I express it? How do I say it when it used to always be an issue? How do I feel?
I don't know if I'm even allowed to feel anything anymore. I've been numb for so long.
How do you know everything is okay now when it never used to be?
