Did you forgive, child? You did not forget.

Deadlock

The static was deafening.

⠀⠀ White noise and a foggy haze surrounded him, voices and colors and feelings he was hoping to have been long rid of bubbling to the surface.

⠀⠀ Anger, agony, resentment.

𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦, 𝘥𝘢𝘥.

⠀⠀ Varian was sure he was done with these feelings, these episodes of helplessness and hatred that seemed to strike him in the dead of night, when there was no one to comfort him.

⠀⠀ 𝘐'𝘮 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵, he tells himself, over and over.

⠀⠀ 𝘐'𝘮 𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵, but the sickness in his body and brain could say otherwise.

⠀⠀ He was never an overly emotional kid, no, he'd rather solve things with logic and reasoning, but emotions are only human and human, he was.

⠀⠀ Most days he could drown it out, the whispers in his head and the trembling in his fingers.

⠀⠀ Most days it was easy to smile and pretend like he didn't notice the chorus of violent thoughts rolling into his mind, thoughts that did not feel as if they were his own, thoughts that told him that Rapunzel was the enemy, 𝘊𝘰𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘢 was his enemy.

⠀⠀ Rapunzel, the embodiment of the sun, kind and caring and 𝘰𝘩 𝘴𝘰 𝘯𝘢𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘚𝘩𝘦 was deserving of the pain? 𝘚𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘦 was responsible for Varian's agony?

⠀⠀ He knew that wasn't true, but somehow, somewhere, his brain decided to lie to him.

⠀⠀ Most days, he could ignore it.

⠀⠀ Today, however, the static grew.

⠀⠀ "𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦," It whispered, the white noise of his head morphing into a barking, taunting voice "𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐥."

⠀⠀ "𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐝, 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐧 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭." it hissed.

Demanding and 𝘰𝘩 𝘴𝘰 sure in its declaration.

⠀⠀ Varian wanted to cry.

⠀⠀ "𝐍𝐨," he whispered, curling in on himself further "𝐍𝐨, 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭."

⠀⠀ The static laughed, bitter and amused, and Varian pulled his blanket further around his body, tucking his head between his arms.

⠀⠀ "𝐍𝐨? 𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞, 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐲." It said, and Varian could practically hear it's grin, feel its taunting gaze, burning into him as if he were nothing and knew nothing.

⠀⠀ "𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞." He replied, and for a moment, the static did not reply.

⠀⠀ "𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞?" The voice was cold now, in contrast to it's previous taunting nature, and Varian decided he did not prefer the latter.

⠀⠀ It laughed again, bitter this time, and Varian squeezed his eyes shut.

⠀⠀ "𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟, 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦, 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦, 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐘𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥, 𝐛𝐨𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫. 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞."

⠀⠀ "𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞," He cried, and it sounded more like a plea, a desperate attempt to ground himself within the fear of losing to his own mind.

"𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞!"

⠀⠀ The static grows now, howling and yelling in his ear, and for a moment he thought the voice may have grown tired of him, grown sick of his backtalk.

⠀⠀ But then, without warning, it all stopped, the static dissipating and in its wake, the voice replied;
⠀⠀
⠀⠀ "𝑫𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖?"