How are you? I hope you look in the mirror every morning and ask yourself that. Have you finally learned to appreciate your reflection in that thing? We're starting to over here. Is it still weird to look at your reflection and say your name? That'll never get old.
I know you'll never get rid of your mental illnesses even though you wish you could because God, you have so many. But have they subsided? Don't tell me you're on medication. You know, there's nothing wrong about that but I thought we'd be stronger by then. I know we'll get out of this. I still have faith in you although it's been a rough month for your eighteen year old self.
Don't ever get too comfortable because you know what happens then. You fall and things start getting messy.
On March 11, 2014 you decided to write a book. It's not your first, you have a few really crappy ones sitting in your closet in countless notebooks. You stuck with this one though, on April 24, 2015 you decided you wanted people to see what you have so far. Mom said an imperfect published book is better than the perfect book no one ever sees. I think she's right. You're almost done writing it. Can you believe it? I still barely can.
Sixteen year old Lili, do you remember her? She definitely would think you're crazy for putting something like this out there. She wouldn't have cared too much though. She was too busy sitting in front of her dresser that one night, picking out some pajamas when she had an overwhelming sense of "I can't do this." You had a lot of those nights.
You know it was God that stopped your thoughts time. You still believe in him right? I hope you do because right now he's one of the only things helping you get by. I hope you're better friends with him now.
Please tell me your thoughts have become your friends. Please tell me you have better friends. Are you and your sister still close? Don't let her become distant, she's your best friend.
What about mom? She better still be trucking around, I don't know what I'd do without her. And your brother? I hope you guys are on better terms than you are now. And dad? Do you still miss him? Does it get easier? It would be seventeen years that he died when you're reading this again. Wow.
Please tell me you finally went after the guy, you know who I'm talking about. Are you married? At least engaged? Kids? I hope you don't have any of those. If you do, I hope you like them. Did you name them after characters you've written about? You did didn't you? You're so predictable.
Most of all, are you happy? Have you found what you want to do with your life? Is the life you've built for yourself everything you hoped it would be? If it is, thank you. You tried. You succeeded, it was about time.
