Natasha: If a villain got you, I'd hunt them to the ends of the Earth so they could face justice.
Y/N: If you asked, I'd kill everyone in this
room without a second thought.
Steve, (disturbed and a little scared): You guys know normal couples don't say these things to each other, right?
Clint: (looking fondly at Nat and Y/N): Aren't they just so cute together.
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Y/N: Natasha pissed me off yesterday so I changed my phone background to another woman's picture.
Carol: Oh come on now, Y/N, you guys are married, you really think Natasha is that jealous or insecure?
Natasha, yelling from another room: BABE?! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!
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Natasha: shut up
Y/N: or what
Natasha: or i'll marry you
Y/N:
Y/N: *starts yodelling*
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Natasha: Is that vodka?
Y/N: Yeah.
Natasha: Straight?
Y/N: No, gay.
Natasha: The VODKA NOT YOU!
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Y/N: *is carrying all the grocies*
Natasha: *holds out hand to help*
Y/N: *aggressively moves all the groceries to one hand to hold Natasha's hand*
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Y/N: *yawns*
Natasha: Yeah, being so beautiful must be tiring.
Y/N*winking*: Well, then you must be exhausted.
[Natasha aggressively blushing RED]
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Natasha: The food is too hot, I can't eat it.
Tony: ...
Clint: ...
Sam: ...
Bucky: ...
Y/N: You're hot and I would still eat you
Steve, slams hand down on table: ONE DINNER!
Wanda: Here we go again.
Steve: ONE PEACEFUL DINNER IS ALL I ASK
FOR!
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Y/N: Natasha pissed me off yesterday so I changed my phone background to another woman's picture.
Carol: Oh come on now, Y/N, you guys are married, you really think Natasha is that jealous or insecure?
Natasha, yelling from another room: BABE?! WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?!
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Natasha: You ready, my love?
Y/N: Yes ma'am, I just need my water bottle.
Steve: Wait-where are you guys going?
Natasha: To work out.
Steve: Y/N? You never want to work out with me, why go with Romanoff?
Y/N: ...Because she's hot. And she's even hotter when she's working out.
Steve: Wow, thanks. And I'm not?
Y/N: Eh, you're not my type.
Steve: What's your type?
Natasha: Me. I'm her type.
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Natasha: My advice for haunting? Every time something creepy happens, turn in the direction of whatever it was, pause for a moment, then slowly lick your lips and say "do that again" in your most seductive voice. The ghost will feel very awkward and leave immediately.
Steve: But what if the ghost makes advances back?? I won't have a plan then!
Clint: What if the ghost does it back?
Wanda: What if it's a horny ghost?
Y/N: Then fuck the ghost, you cowards.
Natasha: Exactly.
