Spiderman oneshots

14- I don't deserve you

On the fourth day after Tony awoke, Peter didn't have a choice but to go see Tony. Everyone was asking him why he didn't go, and after anyone visited Tony, they told Peter Tony wanted to see him. Peter just made up excuses, but when he was on his phone in the living room and FRIDAY said Tony wanted to see him, he couldn't come up with something. 

So, there Peter is, walking to Tony's room as slowly as he can. When he arrives, he knocks on the door before opening it a little bit staying in the doorway. "Mis- Mister Stark, you wanted to, uhm, see me?" Tony smiles at the sight of his s- protegé. "Hey kid, come on in, don't be shy." Peter shuffles to the bed and stares at the floor. "Why haven't you come and see me kid, thought you would want to this old man when he woke up? Everyone told me you kept me alive." Tony smiles, but doesn't miss that Peter slightly flinches.

"Hey, kid, whats up?" Tony's voice is gentle, and he grabs Peter's hand. "Nothing." Peter mumbles, but Tony doesn't buy it. "Peter."

Peter looks up at his real name. His eyes are watery and red rimmed, there are dark bags under his big eyes and his face has matured since Tony last saw him. "Kid, you can tell me." Peter looks anywhere but Tony's eyes and it's silent for a while.

"You- It, It was my fault." Peter eventually whispers, so soft that Tony almost missed it. Tony's eyes widen in shock and realisation. 'Stupid enormous guilt complex.'

 Before he can tell Peter it isn't, Peter continues. "I'm sorry, mr. Stark. So, so sorry, it was my fault, I had the gauntlet in my hands, I'm a superhuman, I should have done it, I, I should have-" Peter breaks into sobs. "Peter, you may be superhuman, but you're just a kid" 

"Yeah, and you're a dad, and Ironman! No one needs spiderman, or Peter Parker." Peter says between his sobs. "I need Peter Parker. How could I be an actual dad without one of my kids?" Peter's sobs quit abrubtly, eyes going wide. "I- Mr. Stark.. I, I... I don't deserve you, or any of t-this- I- I'm sorry for coming, I- I need to-" Peter stutters and begins to stumble towards the door. "Kid-" Peter runs out of the door, leaving Tony with his hand still reached out to Peter. Liquid fills Tony's eyes, and as he tries to blink it away, it drips onto his cheeks.

He's crying.

---

That's how Pepper finds her husband. In his bed, staring into nothing, silent tears leaving the man's eyes. "Tones?" Pepper says carefully, and Tony slowly turns towards her. "We spoke." Pepper's face falls, already understanding what happened, and she sits down next to Tony. "He's- He's having trouble getting over it, Tony. Thinks it's his fault." Tony slowly nods, not making eyecontact with Pepper. "I told him I saw him as my kid." He adds and Pepper needs to hide her surprisement. She always knew Tony saw Peter as his son, but she never expected him to actually say it.

"He told me-" Tony's breath hitches, "He didn't deserve me or something like that." Pepper combs her fingers through Tony's hair. "It'll be okay, really." She noses his hair and places a kiss on his forehead. "Promise."

-

Peter doesn't know where he's going, but he knows he needs to leave. He can't handle the guilt nagging at him anymore, he can't handle the way his heart sinks anytime Tony is mentioned anymore, he just can't. So, here he is, throwing his stuff in a duffle bag and rushing out of the building.

Walking on the streets, in his thin shirt and sweats, Peter realises he isn't exactly dressed properly for the weather. Cold air brushes through his hair and through his shirt, and after a while of walking, Peter is already immensly cold. Spiders can't thermoregulate, he knows that.

But he pushes through, not wanting to go back to the Tower. He gets pitiful looks, to wich Peter responds with frowns. People are so judging. Eventually, Peter finds himself infront of May's apartment, but Peter knows May is on a business trip to Canada. Not knowing where else to go, Peter shelters in an abandoned building he once found as spiderman, and as he climbs into a shattered window, it starts pouring.