Fly Away

36 - home?

My mouth is trying to move, but I can't speak and the only thing coming out of my mouth are sobs, loud and body-shaking, enough for the pain in my arm to increase.

"It hurts, please it hurts. Make it stop." I try to suck in breaths, but it's hard as I keep swallowing the salty tears, my chest heaving, my mind spinning, puzzle pieces all thrown together like it's their first time meeting.

"Shhh. Calm down baby, please." A warm body comes to sit behind mine, and Rocco's arms wrap around me, his face in my neck as I fall back against him, his scent allowing me to focus clearly.

My shoulder is still stinging, and I hear Rocco whisper words of reassurance in my ear as my sobs slowly drown out to soft hiccups, jerking my chest up and down painfully.

My heart feels the heaviest it's ever been, and my mind is whirring with the recollection of those memories.

Me and Rocco as kids, playing in my fathers office, laughing at a joke.

Him being the only one to remember my birthday and gifting me a cherry necklace. The one I saw in the garden a few days ago.

It must have gotten ruined in the accident.

The accident.

I try to turn around and face Rocco, but his arms are firm around me, his head still resting in my neck. My breathing spikes again, and I don't know why I've never realised this before, but his arms feel like... home to me. 

I never want to leave them, but I need to talk to him about this.

"Rocky." My voice is a whisper, and I feel his hum against my hair.

"Rocky, let me see you." I try to make my voice stronger, and when I speak, he moves away, detaching his arms from around me, his warmth disappearing as he gets up and moves away from me.

I look up at him in question, but he only sits in front of me meaning I don't have to move from my spot.

Did he-

"Mia, don't ever fucking scare me like that again. God, you don't even know. I fucking had a-"

He cuts off, a pained expression on his face, but my thoughts are running wild right now, trying to piece everything together and will myself to find the courage to tell him. He was scared for me, and I have no idea how to feel about that. 

What if he already knows?

"I have to talk to you abut something important." I say, urging him with my eyes to stay calm, watching as his jaw clenches and a flash of anger sparks in his eyes.

"No, you need to rest, you were shot. We can talk later." He's not looking at me, and his voice is calm but I still detect a hint of coldness in there. I don't like it. I don't like the way he's talking. 

I try to shuffle forward on the bed to get closer to him, but he stops me with a hand on my arm and gently moves closer himself.

"Don't move. Your wound will start bleeding again." He's gone quiet now, staring at my shoulder, and I almost forget that we were attacked in the Cafe. I was too focused on the accident and the fact that I lost my memory.

God I hate that. So much, but part of me is glad that I remember now because maybe it will explain why my father has always been so cold towards me. Although, surely it would have had the opposite effect, right?

"Rocky, I remember. I remember the accident." I dismiss his words about rest, and decide that I don't want to wait to tell him. I need this out. He's still looking at my arm, but as soon as I say those words, his eyes snap to mine and go wide. There's clear confusion on his face, but I think a part of him knows what I'm talking about, because his shoulders sag in what seems like relief.

He doesn't say anything, so I decide to probe further.

"Do you remember?" I ask, my voice slightly shaky with thoughts and possibilities running through my head at a million miles an hour.

He takes a while to answer, but when he finally does, he looks right at me with an undecided emotion swirling in his eyes.

"I remember everything, cherry. Fucking everything." The way he says it has me hesitating, but I know that I feel a lot lighter than before at his revelation. 

I close my eyes, my heart still beating rapidly against my chest as I try to reorganise myself, calm myself.

Suddenly, a thought comes to me, and I observe Rocco's reaction as I speak my next words.

"How long have you known?" His face is still the same, nothing twitching or moving, and I'm almost scared for his answer. 

If he says he's known for a long time, then I don't know what I'll do.

"I never forgot." 

guys i know i'm a fucked up rat shit author for leaving ya'll on too many cliffhangers, but something's running in my veins right now. it's probably the best one yet hehe.

anyway, i think i might have a little tiny weeny crush. so this guy at school, he used to sit next to me in english and OMG he's the politest person ever. one time he even pulled out my chair for me, and he would always let me walk to my seat first even though he was against the wall which meant that it was tight for him to squeeze through. ANYWAY, it was my first day of sixth form today and he was sitting behind me in assembly and OH MY GOD. A FUCKING THREE PIECE GREY SUIT. he looked so fine, and that was from my peripheral vision, so imagine what he would look like if he was standing in front of me. but i swear to god i know this sounds really bad but i keep thinking about kissing him, and duh, i'm not eliza in chapter 41 but UGH he's so cute and just ugdufbnf.

anyways yeah.

thank you for reading this chap, and i hope you enjoyed.

also i'm rlly sorry for the short-ish chap, but it's needed because of the cliffhangers hehe.

*cue Eliza's evil smirk*

 - ALSO THE INTRODUCTION AND PLAYLIST TO MY NEW BOOK IS OUT SO PLS GO READ, VOTE VOTE VOTE AND SHARE -

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