2LT Briar [Yuri Briar x f.Reader - SPY x FAMILY]

Safehouse

I'm such a coward.

"It's a bit late for that... You know, I really thought you were a sweet guy. You're all smiles in front of colleagues and strangers. I hoped that if I was good to you, you might treat me similarly. I didn't need you to love me, Yuri. I just wanted you to be nice to me..."

The corrosive tone, the distain, and the resentment tainting her voice all disappear in an instant. In their place is the strain of holding back tears as she continues, "But no matter what I did, you refused to show me that side. You've never once smiled at me. Did you know that? And now you're telling me it's not due to something I did or didn't do; it's because you're just plain cruel. God, I'm such an idiot."

Though silence fills the room, your mind is buzzing with the white noise of anger.

"You're right, fräulein; you are an idiot. You just keep trying, harder and harder, to earn approval instead of moving on until you find someone who appreciates it. You fall for men who treat you like trash because no one was around to tell you that you deserve better. Orphanages might as well be factories for child labourers. It's only natural that you base your worth on someone else valuing your efforts."

"Thanks, lieutenant. Like I didn't already know I'm damaged goods," she spits between sniffles.

With a frustrated click of your tongue you snap, "What part of 'deserve better' did you not understand, fräulein!? What part of 'find someone who appreciates you' was not clear?!"

An exasperated sigh precedes her retort. "The part where men like that don't seem to exist, or rather that they don't ever like me because no matter whether I 'deserve' a nice guy or not, it makes no difference if I'm never good enough for them."

Rage burns through your veins at each self-deprecating word that rolls off her tongue.

"Fine! Then stop dating men who can't see how exceptional you are and just marry me! If you're going to end up settling for some scumbag because you think you're not good enough for 'them' anyway, then at least be with this stupid jerk because you will always be too good for me, damn it!"

In anger, you turn around to meet her eye to eye and find her staring blankly at you. Snatching her arm out of the water with one hand and shoving the trinket from your pocket into her palm with the other, you immediately whip back around to face the wall and cross your arms with a huff like the petulant child you are.

There's a long pause before she speaks again.

"You're not... serious?"

"Does that diamond look like a joke to you?" you mutter under your breath as you glare at the dust in the corner.

"I don't understand... I thought you didn't like me..."

Uncooperatively weak, your voice wrings out an answer in a near whisper, "I liked you from the start..."

"Then... why treat me with such hostility?"

Head on your knees, you hope she doesn't hear you murmur the truth.

"Because I was terrified of letting myself like you.... I knew you'd be disgusted by the real me... I'm nothing more than a broken, obsessive, needy child with a drinking problem who tortures and kills people for a living... all in the name of 'peace'... so I tried to jump straight to the part where you hate me... but you just wouldn't lay off no matter what side of myself I showed you..."

Her silence consumes the room - maybe it's minutes, maybe it's hours - until she calls your name. You merely hum into your knees to show you're listening.