Alexander Miguel (REFRESH #1)

III. Queenie

"I freaking knew it." Napa-tayo ako dahil sa galit na nararamdaman ko. Lahat sila nakatingin sa akin ngayon.

The moment lolo met that guy I knew where this was going. All the questions he asked lead up to this. Parang kinukumpirma niya na tama iyong desisyon niya. Nasabi ko na yata lahat ng mura na alam ko sa utak ko.

Lolo looked at me with his fucking demonic smile, like he just closed a business deal. Iniisip ko lang kagabi na kaya niya akong ipakasal sa gusto niya pero hindi ko alam na gagawin niya pala talaga.

Akala ko may puso pa rin siya kahit papaano.

Akala ko lang pala. Gusto kong umiyak pero nanaig ang galit ko.

"What is this? This is not a choice, dad. There is no choice!" Dad asked lolo after realizing what the last condition was. He and mom both stood up as well. Napahawak sa kanyang bewang si daddy habang napatalikod si mommy sa amin na hawak hawak ang sintido niya. Naglakad-lakad si mommy sa garden para pakalmahin ang sarili.

"It's about time, Franciz." Lolo answered. He slumped on his chair like he's bored with everyone's reaction.

Napatingin ako sa mga Tan. Tito and tita looked really shocked by what they just read and heard. But they weren't saying anything. Marga wanted to take a look at what we were talking about but Miggy won't give her the folder.

"Diyos ko naman, dad. Saan niyo ba nakuha itong idea na ito?" Dad asked again. Napahawak na lang si dad sa batok niya.

"I'm sure Art knows how much this marriage can help him. And I'm sure you also know how this marriage can help us. Besides, matagal na namin napagkasunduan ni Alejandro na ipakasal ang mga apo namin."

Tito Art's brows furrowed but he still wasn't saying anything. Marga gasped at what she heard.

"Marriage?" Marga asked at nagpabalik-balik ang tingin niya sa amin ng kuya niya. Miggy held her hand and gave her an intimidating look.

"Be quiet." Miggy told her making Marga purse her lips.

Lolo then asked Atty. Gomez for something at ibinigay naman niya iyon. It was a paper that looked really old. Nakatupi ito at naninilaw na. Lolo carefully opened it and began to read the context.

"Ang kontratang ito ay nagpapatunay na ipinagkakasundo ni Alejandro Tan at Francisco Cortez sa isang kasal ang kanilang mga panganay na apo mula sa kanilang mga panganay na anak pagdating ng tamang edad. Ang kontratang ito ay may bisa hanggang nabubuhay parehas o ang isa sa dalawang pumirma." Lolo looked at us after. "See? I didn't just think of this. This is even notarized by our former lawyer."

My mouth dropped. He's been planning this since before. But what does he expect? That we should agree just because of that freaking contract?

"But dad, this is the life of our daughter, your granddaughter that we are talking about. Isn't this too much?" Mom faced us again as she was asking lolo.

"Nothing is too much if it's for her! I am doing this for her! Ano ba ang hindi niyo maintindihan?" Lolo slammed his hand on the table that I flinched. And then there was silence from everyone.

Napa-pikit ako para pigilan ang sarili kong umiyak. Kahit anong gawin kong pag-iisip, hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung paanong para sa akin ang mga ginagawa niya. All my life I lived under his rules and conditions. I did all that he wanted me to do. The school I will attend, the program I will pursue, the food I eat, the clothes I wear, how I look, how I behave, every thing was under his control that I forgot who I really was. Nasaan doon ang para sa akin? All I remember was that I am afraid of him.