Invisible Strings * Ongoing*

9.Disrupting My Orbit

I admit now shoving my face in my hands – " nah. It was obviously just not about that...Manizeh...it was also about what I felt underneath that streak of irritation..more about that actually...from the very second, I heard my name in his voice, it's just been uber crazy within, then that vibe on the phone with him on the other end messed me up too, for once, in my heart it totally felt like – as if I was not talking to the Arnav I have not known for seven years. It did feel like I was talking to the Arnav, I knew. And then that freaking intensity of his tone,words, during our conversation, it just felt like, so so intense coming from his end, that it did shake me up to my very core...just why did he have to say my name with the same intensity like he used too, when we were...us...all those years ago, like you get what I mean? theres wasn't any indifference, or causality in his tone/words at all....it was the same familiar freaking intensity..,"and I can't help but sob into my own hands as I whisper admitting and accepting it to myself and her at the same time – " he's just disrupting my emotional orbit Manizeh,he really just is, messing and disrupting it all.... "

She pulls my hand off now in a comforting gesture and hugs me tight as she whispers – "oh cmon here you. You need a hug...,"and I hug her hard a minute later - I just look at her helpless as I admit wiping the confusing trail of my tears – " you know what I freaking realised? That as much as some questions have the power to bring you insane amount of clarity. It can also be a double edged – sword, for guess what? Some questions asked within one's mind or aloud – can lead to utter chaos – too??"

Manizeh hugs me again – " it is all chaotic within, isn't it??,"And I can only hug her back harder, my turmoil now bare and evident to her – " indeed, only chaos is what I feel. I just feel – all these – why's I'v asked me have been like that double edged sword and what's even crazy is that my mind has another list of Why's ready, that it wants to ask him...keep asking him.."

Manizeh pulls back now and scans my frame – " you mean? your heart isn't complaining about him disrupting that orbit within??"

I sigh and admit – " it surely isn't. Its still excited with the frequency and intensity of the feels within after all these years?? Why do you think, I just couldn't dodge the topic of meeting him??? because well, now....every bit of me wants to see him – too...even though my mind is a little skeptical with all the thunderous impact that it could get its way, my heart just wants to go for it..."

Manizeh sighs at that first but then gives me a small smile – " only fair that the heart overtakes babe.Dont beat yourself for it. You'v had it all dormant within for so long..."

I sigh – " he surely hasn't struck me like a thunderbolt this time around. He's struck me like a full-fledged – solid meteor...,"and then I am compelled to pick up my phone as I say flashing it to Manizeh – " and I wana ask him – why is he back with a mission meteor to my existence – when all of the netizen world – can't stop talking about him and Syna...its caught more of a wildfire online..ever since he stepped into the airport with the group yesterday...??you see it right?? I am sure – you saw it all???already??"

Manizeh gives me the look taking my phone – " oh, so you did see this..."

I admit – " ofcourse, I did...and I saw it after our talk actually, why do you think, I am feeling this way? all freaking chaotic..and meteor hit.."

Manizeh says now after a deep thought – " know what? just ask him about it upfront? This Syna angle?"

I admit shrugging – " I want to, okay? But then at the same time, I also don't want him to know that I am interested to know about his dating life..,"and I bury my head in the cushion next to us – " ugh, ugh, ugh..what do I do??????????"