If only, I was a girl
If only, I wasn't a boy
If only, I didn't have a flat chest
If only, I knew you liked me
If only, I told you I loved you
If only, if only, if only!
If only, I knew, I wouldn't have you anymore. If I knew you end up with her I would've spoke up. Life's a bitch, it hurts you. I never believed it because I had you so close, and was almost there to having you be mine. Yet, I was too late..
Now, seeing you laughing with her, talking about her, talking to her, smiling with her, it hurts. It hurts because you don't see me anymore. It hurts because I cared, and I still do, yet you don't.
If only, I could wake up from this nightmare! If I knew that night would've been the last night I had you alone, I would've made a stupid move!
I knew I was wrong to think you loved me, I was wrong. Now it hurts like hell seeing what I could've had.. I'm sorry..
I should've held you closer, should've told you how I felt everyday, each and every single one. Every single call, every single stream, every single text, everything. I was dumb and insecure.
I let my stupid insecurities get in the way of what I could've had. I hate her. I hate seeing her face, her smile, I hate hearing you talk about how great she is to you. I could've done better.
I would've talked a little longer, just to distract you, if only I knew. I wish you'd come back, I wish you'd see me once more. Maybe we could start over? Maybe we could start back from the start and forget all we did.
I wanted you to love me, as much as I knew you did, and I wanted to love you as much as I do. If I wasn't so shy and dumb! If I'd seen what was going on, if I'd seen what was ahead..
If only I wasn't so blind, Dream
