happily m.c au

sixteen

"Michael don't-" she squeaked.

"You good?" I asked her with an uneasy breath. The proximity between us foreign. We had never been this close before and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. It felt normal but it had never happened before.

"What time is it?" she inhaled.

"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Because I want you to kiss me."

She what?

"Ana, I don't know if you really want that though. You aren't thinking straight. You've had too much to drink. Lay down," I said walking her to the bed.

"No Michael. I'm fucking fine. I can comprehend what I'm asking for. I can comprehend what you're saying back. I know what I'm doing. I know what I'm feeling. I know what I'm thinking," she argued.

"I just don't want you to end up hurt," I sighed.

"Its just a kiss Michael."

"Then why do you want me to kiss you so bad?" I asked.

"Because I want to know how you feel. I damn well know how I feel. I don't need my feelings confirmed, but you? I'm pretty sure not even you know how you feel," she said shuffling towards me.

She's right. What do I feel? I've never been good with expressing my emotions or even understanding them. I'd rather sit in my room and play games than communicate when people. That was before I met Luke, Ashton, Calum, and Ana. After that, I always wanted to be around them.

Especially Ana.

"Fuck," I mumbled running my hands through my hair.

"I'm sorry Michael. I shouldn't have said anything. You're right. I'm so drunk I don't know what I'm talking about," she laughed. It wasn't a genuine laugh though. It was pained.

She began to walk out of the room when I grabbed her arm, "Wait."

"Huh?"

"I want to try it. I'm just scared. Kissing my best friend isn't a causal thing," I breathed.

"Then don't think of me as your best friend," she whispered.

"Ana."

I closed my eyes thinking all of this through. What the fuck am I doing right now? Why does she want this after I hurt her so badly? Even after all that she still wants me. Why?

"Michael its okay," she reassured me.

"Why do you want this?" I asked again.

"I told you already," she sighed.

"Fuck, I can't make the first move. No matter how bad I might want this I really can't make the first move," I laughed awkwardly.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" she asked with wide eyes.

I looked behind her at Calum's digital clock and cursed to myself.

"If we're going to do this we need to figure shit out. Its almost time."

"I could care less about the time, Michael. It was an excuse. I'm not pressuring you to do it at 12. Whenever you're ready," she smiled.

I shook my head and rested it on her shoulder. What the fuck is going on. I want to kiss her I just don't know how.

"Look at me," she whispered.

I slowly raised my head and looked at her. "Huh?" I asked.

"Just look at me. I know you're freaking out, shit I am too, but breathe," she said rubbing my cheek.

So I did as she said. I tried to clear my mind and I just looked at her. Her eyes. They are so pretty. She always told me she disliked them because they were so basic. Brown. But they were beautiful, just like her. Her lips. They always had a redish tint to them. Her nose. It was so adorable the way it fit her face. She told me she didn't like it either but I did. Her cheeks. Right now they were flushed. I couldn't tell whether it was the alcohol or me, but it definitely affected her.

I took a deep breath and pressed my forehead against hers. I heard her sigh as she grabbed my hands and intertwined our fingers.

I leaned in slowly and felt our lips connect and my whole body relaxed. I couldn't think of anything but the way her lips felt on mine. I cupped her cheek and deepened the kiss. My whole body was puddy under her touch.

When people describe a kiss they say its emotionless or that its electrifying or they feel sparks. That, is an understatement. It was way better than that, I was on fire.

She let go of my hands and I frowned but she quickly put them in my hair. I felt myself becoming weak. I pulled away from the kiss and rested my forehead where it was moments ago.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out. I was speechless, once again.

When she reconnected our lips again I relaxed again. Her lips fit mine perfectly as cliché as that sounds. Her hands tangled in my hair as I wrapped my arms around her waist. She tugged on my hair as I involuntarily moaned into her mouth.

I quickly pulled away and hid my face in her neck. I could feel the heat rushing to my cheeks. I can't believe I just did that.

"Sorry," I spoke in her neck.

"It's okay," she said wrapping her arms around me.

"I don't know what to say. That confused me so much. I liked it so much," I sighed.

"You don't need to say anything," she said as she squeezed me.

So we stood there in each others arms for what felt like hours. I didn't mind though. It was relaxing. She was relaxing.

"Hey Michael," she whispered.

"Yeah?"

"Happy New Year, bub" she whispered kissing my neck.

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I apologize greatly for my lack of knowledge on affection.

hope you liked this. love you guys.