I had a old diary kinda thing where i would just rant or talk about my problems but i think i might start using this instead idk. So i kinda been just gone for a while, i havent been upating any of my books and i deleted my old wattpad diary. I been kinda just depressed and i been not wanting to do anytging and i been losing interest in a lot of things. I been feeling very lonely and its really affected my life cause im sad a lot, i have no motivation to do anything, my eating habits have been a lil off ngl, and I've become a lot lazier (and thats saying a lot) than before. I guess i'll explain why cause i kinda wanna vent (and nobody really listens to me like that irl). Like i been mad lonely recently cause i noticed that a lot of my friendships are one sided and im mostly the one reaching out and making sure the other person is okay but nobody really does the same for me so i just kinda stopped talking to people and now like i havent been talking to people all summer. People only hit me up when they going through something and need to vent or when theyre bored and need something to do. Im kinda like a last option for a lot of people. And im also going to a new school where i dont know a single person (except for a teacher who used to teach at my old school but i only interacted with him like once cause i never had him) so im worried that im not gonna have any friends cause im also awkward and not social so i dont really apporach people and yeah. Anyways back to talking about writing. I wanna keep on writing on here but i havent really been feeling up to it. And i also feel like my account kinda fell off cause with some of my books on here, the older shit will have like mad views but the newer stuff dont really get attention like that. Maybe its cause im like not being patient or im not consistent enough but idk. But yeah i have some fan fictions i wanna start writing and a gay love story. I havent really been writing poetry and idk if i wanna do that anymore. I havent really been able to come up with ideas for my poetry and its already not that good so yeah. Well thats all for now, love you all <3 💕
