The Diary of a Shallow Person

Introduction

Dear Diary, August 22

I am an empty page filled with meaningless scratches of ink. Every stray thought that amounted to nothing, every embarrassing moment I wish I could redo, every document I opened, wrote a few words in, then deleted seems to leave an invisible mark in my mind. 

When I used to be asked to describe myself in a few words I'd write creative, unique, and introspective. How could I have deluded myself into thinking that? Or maybe it was true.

Creative: My mind finds creative ways to ruin my good moments.

Unique: I'm uniquely lacking depth.

Introspective: I'm so introspective that I get warped into my own shallow, uninteresting self and become further and further removed from the rest of the world.

I'm sorry. I haven't introduced myself yet. My name is Harmony Lin. I'm tired of writing all these introductions about myself, so I'll just tell you this: I'm a shallow person.

When I was in seventh grade, a boy told me: "No one wants to be friends with you because you're selfish. You don't care about anyone other than yourself."

He probably said it just to attack me, but I think he was right. In many ways I am selfish. I don't make an effort to make time for the friends I do have and I'm self-absorbed and boring. I'm disconnected, my mind is filled with empty static. I can't connect with other people and don't know how to show that I care about them.

This diary is a way to change that. To turn off the static and then try to create something new on a brand new page. I'll start this journey by writing down tangible specific things that surround me in my life, without commenting on them. That's why I'll make this diary very matter-a-fact. Maybe by tracing down the things in my life I'll be able to find a path for myself.

I don't know if it'll work.

But it's a start.

At the very least, I'll have something to direct my energy to. To keep myself sane. I hope you join me on this journey.

-H

Author's note: This story is partially inspired by my life, but the names are purely fictional. I wrote this story mainly to explore a particular writing style. If it goes anything how I imagine, it'll be quite a unique form of narration so please bear with me. Enjoy :)