Mort was writing yet another story about smut idk, and then suddenly he heard gawk gawk noises from downstairs so he got up confused as hell and slowly went down the steps, each one crunching with crunchy old wood sounds. What he saw was both traumatising and strangely arousing.
A two month pregnant chocolate factory entrepreneur being railed by a drunk pirate.
What the fuck.
In fact, Mort felt he had to vocalise his pain.
“What the fuck?”
Jack Sparrow looked at Mort and smiled. “Want to join in?”
“... Wh .. n- wh.. what ... the fuck...”
The pirate shrugged and continued his business. Rainey noped the fuck out of there and reversed back up the stairs he came down, taking a cheeky fag from his drawer (no not the gay kind) and lighting it. If he isn't allowed bleach in his eyes, he at least deserves a little smoke.
After a few puffs and swigs of jack daniels, he realised just how mfing horny he was so he marched his juicy ass back down to the two and began to absolutely poud jack's fat pulsating rim until the 3 of them came. At the same time, of course. Then they all stood bent over in a circle and ate each others hot jizz from each other. Maybe a little shit slipped into the mixture and nobody would've noticed 💀
Wonka, Sparrow and Rainey all lay on the ground. Rainey was mildly disappointed with himself, but the other two were much too far-gone to care. But guess what. Whoever was munching and crunching on Jack's arse didn't do a very good job - NOW HE'S PREGNANT TOO! FUCK. He had grown a massive ass stomach in the past 5 minutes.
“Open relationship?” Wonka proposed, panting still.
“... Open relationship...” mort huffed.
Jack sighed. “Wha-eva yew say mate, as long as I get to keep me rum. Where is me rum anyways?”
All of their heads turned at the same time to search for the bottle, to no avail.
“Why is the run ALWAYS gone...”
Suddenly dead Edward Scissorhands appeared on the floor beside them, cock out, drenched in blood, and started flopping like a fish out of water.
“I thought you were dead mate,” the now pregnant pirate sat up, confused.
Edward began to gurgle, unable to produce any words, blood spilling from his talk-hole.
The other 2 of them shared looks of confusion.
Mort just looked traumatised.
To be continued...
YOU ARE READING
johnny depp x ... johnny... depp?
FanfictionAll of his characters (that I know of so far) interacting in each of their universes
